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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1825
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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His respons was good, but my response sucks!

Resolved Question:

He replied to my text message and said he had a good weekend and he is tired and asked what I did I told shopping with the baby. I also Now I am starting a slow week:( he responded awww..what did you do this weekend.  I said the baby and went shopping. I asked him what did he do with  his weekend with the kids he said went movies and skating and I told him ok, sounds like fun and know they enjoyed it. I also text  sayingyour sister and brother in law are good allowing the kids to come over every weekend. He never responded was I overreacting by saying that. I guess I try to ask a question without trying to be demanding, Any suggestions? on how to get to know him without seeming to demanding. I was basically trying to find out if the kids stay with him by his sister and brother in law on the weekends or does he have to stay with his ex-wife to watch the kids every weekend since he does not have a place of his own yet.  Not sure if that comment came off as sweet or not so sweet.  I need to add that I sent the good morning by 3:30 am and he did not respond so I resent the same message by 9 am because I thought he did not see the first text message. Was I wrong to resend this text again? Maybe I should just chill and stop texting him. I think I just out my foot in my mouth with that comment, and it is weird because I don't start acting insecure or demanding until after I have sex.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.

Deardebra :

You answered everything correctly and ask the perfect questions. You are showing him you are interested in his life and you care about the children in what they are doing and if they had fun.

Deardebra :

That was a great text.

Deardebra :

That question came off too me as sweet and kind. You are making a statement about his family being nice.

Deardebra :

You were not wrong in sending another text some times people do not get the text plus where you sent it early in mourning he would have not responded because he would have had no idea if you were up.

Deardebra :

I think the reason why you are acting

Deardebra :

demanding and insecure is because this is someone you really care about and you do not want to do or say the wrong thing.

Deardebra :

That is very normal when you care about someone you want to get to know them and it is exciting when a relationship first starts out.

Deardebra :

If he does not answer certain questions he might just not want to respond, the way you had said the question it was more like you were saying a direct fact that his sister and brother -inlaw let him stay there.

Deardebra :

The wa it was said was more like you stating a fact, his answer would have been most likey yes.

Deardebra :

Some times when people have children certain agreements are made. There might be an agreement that he takes the children only if he stays at the ex house because some times parents do not want to move the kids around and want to give them a more stable environment.

Deardebra :

But he might stay at his sisters so the next question should have been that is where you stay right when you have the children?

Deardebra :

This way you will know for sure where he stays.

Deardebra :

I feel you are both doing very well and this relationship is going to grow. I feel he will answer more questions and get more comfortable in telling you things. He will begin to share certain things in his life, then as the relationship grows he will be able to open up more too you.

Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1825
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


My last question is this how do I get him to chase me again. He answered the question and his ex just move across the street from where he stays now. I even got him to call me instead of texting me. How do I turn the tables around he used to call and text me now I feel like I have been chasing him lately. When the phone ended he said he would call me back and I said ok, and normally he would tell me he would call back and the time that he would call me back. He has not mention another date neither, the last time he asked was I available for this friday night and that was on Friday past he asked me. I told him I had to see cause I have the baby on Friday night and I asked can I bring the kid and he said no. He told me what about Friday and I mention lunch and he said dinner, but he mention that last Friday. Any ideas ? I just feels things have changed between us.

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.
You both sound like it is hard for you to figure out a date to get together. You both have children and it is hard to set a date. I don't feel things have changed in the sense that he doesn't want to be with you. I just del like he has reached that comfort zone where he knows you like him and care about him. Often times guys as the relationship progress they think they no longer have to impress a woman. They think they got them and they will instead of texting and calling will wait for the woman to contact them. If you stopped texting he would be worried that he was losing you.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1825
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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