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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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i am getting married and my fiance has a child from his ex,

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i am getting married and my fiance has a child from his ex, i cannot accept it its because he lied to me about it and i just caught it on his moms fb chat with her ex about his child, when i found out, it hurt so much, i cant bear the pain of breaking a trust, he still denying saying it was not his child , what i should do, i am confused

jenhelant :

Hi, I understand why you are concerned and I am so sorry that this happened the way it did. He broke the trust in lying about his child. This is not only concerning because of the lie itself, but to deny a child is disturbing. This can make you think twice about if he is the person you thought he was. If he would like about his child then what else is he capable of lying about. I think it would be better to hold off the wedding to say the least. This is not a good way to start off a marriage. If you plean to stay with him then he needs to build the trust back and this will take time. He needs to be understanding to the fact that you are not going to trust him for a while and will not need to prove a lot of things in order to things to be as they were. He would need to be patient and not get upset with you for not trusting him since you have every right. He also needs to be able to back up all his words with action and things need to make sense before even thinking about marriage again. I would also suggest couples counseling if a possibility. I wish you well in this devastating time and please let me know if I can be of further help.

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