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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I stayed married to a somewhat emotional abusive relationship

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I stayed married to a somewhat emotional abusive relationship for 15 yeas until the year before my last son graduated i could not take it any more . I moved out while he was at work. We had talked about splitting but her figured i could not afford to . I did so when i got my taxes . After 4 years of him staying attached some way or the other through the Grand-kids etc I feel stuck. (for a couple years now), but i am scared to ask him for a divorse without causing a big rift.
. I just want to not be married any more.I will be 60 in Dec. All my kids are grown and i need to have a life of my own and not be in Limbo.
Someone can have family and not have the relationship. One does not mean that he can't have a healthy support system. You should do what you feel is healthy and that means doing what you have to do. Being in limbo will only continue the dysfunction that you have put yourself through for so long. My advice is to cut the ties with him and focus on getting your life back. You have a good support system that is invaluable. now it is your job to give yourself the freedom that you deserve. Whatever he needs is up to him. You should not orchestrate his recovery; leave that to him. When you are free to think about what you need it will be very liberating. Take the final step and discover a life with much more pleasure
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