I don't understand what's going on in her mind (and heart). She ended the relationship but now she's doing all these things that confuse me a lot. Why the date? Why the texts? I would really like to get back together with her and these signals she's sending are just so confusing to me.
Thank you for this. Could you clarifiy a bit more as to what I should do to get this right. I've had my share of relationships and never wanted to get my ex back, but this is different. We had such a great time that I just don't want to throw this away. I have cleared up my mind and heart and I know that I really miss her. She also went partying with her girlfriends to the seaside during my sailing trip but one of my mutual friends sent me a text that basically she was "not being herself and just being quiet and held back". Yes I think we discussed everything about the past and put all the cards out on the table, so this is good. But I would like to go on. I understand that she is feeling hurt and that I was the one that hurt her - that's why I try not to initiate too much contact. (one more note: we work together, so we see each other every day. a lot. I keep the communication at work professional and treat her like any other coworker). How can I show her (not tell, but show), that I'm really willing to make this work? What should my next steps be?
Well, I have thought about inviting her for coffee or something similiar but I tried this one week after the break-up and it was obviouslly too soon, because she got really angry and blew me off. If I start giving her small gestures won't she percieve me as "weak" and needy?
All this is what you're saying is making sense to me, because I was really caring and nice to her in the beginning when we just met. So I'm probably going to give this a try. Can you just help me ... with one more thing. From your experience: what is currently going on in her mind. I would like to understand what's happening to her and what she's going through, so I can act appropriately.
Just a quick follow up. Yesterday evening she texted me and asked how was sailing and that she hopes I'm doing great. I answered back and told her that it was great but it's hard to explain this over text, so I proposed for us to get coffee together this week and she said yes. So what I want to do is just have coffee, share some stories and have a good time and not bring the conversation to our past together, because that would just open up some old wounds, right? I also picked up her favorite chocolate at the grocery today and will bring it to her someday this week. What do you think?
Well, she said yes, we didn't exactly agree on a date/time, so it's not 100 % sure. But I sent her another text which was really smiliar to the one she sent me before I went sailing (It's weird that you are going alone, because we went everywhere together and I still care about you). and she replied with "this is how it is at the moment, maybe it will be different someday." And them we exchanged a couple of fun texts and after one of them I sent, I got back from her "I see you're really changing a lot of things in your life." She's visiting her relatives in another country and is not coming back before wednesday. Is this going along ok or am I just getting my hopes up to high?
So, I brought here her favorite chocolate on wednesday and we went for coffee yesterday ... it was a casual coffee (a little bit over an hour) we talked about the fun stuff both of us did in recent weeks, the conversation was light, easy, we didn't say a word about (our) past. I actually had a great time just talking to her and being near her. Then we went home, agreed to do something fun together next week, hugged and went our separate ways. In that moment, my heart just broke to pieces. I cried, knowing I can't have her, can't kiss her, can't hold hands, she's not my girlfriend anymore. What should I do? Write her a letter and express my feelings to her, apologize, and ask her for another chance? Or just block her out of my life completely and take care of myself (cancel all the arrangements I have with her)? I still would love to get back with her, but I don't want to fall into a circle of depression and just losing myself in the process. At the moment, I'm feeling profound sadness.