All of our children are adults and don't live at home any longer so how can I convince them of their father lies, manipulations, narcissistic spin on things, etc.? It's as if our children are in a trance, believing everything their father says and treat me as the "bad parent". They won't talk to me or let me see them or my Grandchildren. Also, two of our children have depression like their father(he refuses to go back on his meds!), and two others are married to men who have depression or are Bi-Polar. There is such a long history of mental disorders in our family. My husband's mother was also narcissistic and had depression and his brother has depression. His mother spoke horribly about me and her other daughter-in-law behind our backs for many years and my husband believes the lies.
I have been gathering 100% concrete proof of some of his lies to present to a new therapist. Do you think it will help our children understand if the therapist tells them of their father's narcissism? Would they even believe it? Also, being abused for 35 years has been extremely hard on my health. I developed arthritis, fibro-myalgia, an ulcer and acid reflux, IBS, condochondritis and chronic fatigue in my late 20's and have had heart problems for the past 10 years. All of this while he is in robust health! It's true that the narcissist remains healthy while destroying his supply victim! Unfortunately, since I am not his supply any longer(because I am standing up for myself) he is using our children as his supply. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I believe they help tremendously. I also have quite a group of friends that understand what I'm going through and are a great support to me.
I will take your advise wholeheartedly on how to approached my children. I also try very hard to do things in a non accusatory way although these problems will be accusatory. I will still in the "blame" stage for a while but hope to get out of it soon. I also am trying to not fall for his traps and have been successful most of the time lately. I am just a normal person fighting abnormal problems and take each day at a time. I stay very busy which helps me a lot. If you want to see that I am a real and busy person, in spite of my medical limitations, you can find me on Facebook- Pamela Gygi Hamill. Thanks for your help and God bless!