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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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This may be a silly question. I am 54 but have two minor children,

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This may be a silly question. I am 54 but have two minor children, one 17 and the other is nine. My husband died four years ago. I look young for my age (except for my neck that is looking gross these days) but I am 5'7" my hair used to be red, not carrot top red but a strawberry blonde red but now with the gray that has infiltrated it looks blonde. I wear it long (mostly because of my neck) but have had the same basic hairstyle since I was 14 and like it that way. I weigh 140-145lbs. I am not athletic but I am a hard worker so my arms look trim still and I have always had pretty/shapely legs.

My daughter and I were getting ready to go to a birthday party and as I was getting dressed she said "Mom, you dress way too young for your age" Now my daughter is the 17 year old and she is shorter than I am and weighs over 220 lbs. She started putting on weight when her dad died. I do shop in the juniors department, she can't. I wear skinny jeans, short shorts, short dresses and love high heals, especially boots, I'm talking stilettos. Both my kids are always commenting on the looks I get from men. (Not that any of them have been knocking down my door trying to get a date) I don't think I look like a hooker, I don't wear clothing that is too revealing, low cut, see through or bend at the waist in a shorter skirt. I'd like to think I look sexy..............I carry myself straight, and tend to look people in the eye and will usually smile if I see them looking at me but I am usually on a mission and pretty much oblivious to what is going on around me and I have never been a flirt. I'm told I intimidate people which is unintentional.

Anyway my question is, in your opinion should I start being more conservative in my dress? I figure I am not going to be able to pull it off too much longer but until I start looking scary in the clothing I wear I don't see any reason why I should start wearing polyester pants and flats!

Anyway, my question is
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.

Hi, I understand where you are coming from. I think the true problem here is not your age, but rather for anyone for that matter. When we dress a certain way it calls attention to people we may not want attention from. Of course if you are single there is no problem rather than if you were married. It is just really a matter of how you want people to see you. When certain clothes are worn people may get the wrong impression about you and not take you as serious than if you dressed differently. It is really hard to say without seeing exactly what you are wearing. You can dress conservative and still look sexy and do not need to settle for "frumpy clothes". Sometimes people who wear certain clothes that are classy end up looking better than the ones who wear revealing clothes. The revealing clothes everyone is used to. Now days so many people young and old use them. If you are not liking attention from men then I would try changing it up. Maybe if you try you can see what type of attention you get to see what you enjoy and prefer. It really is a personally preference that is based on what you are trying achieve as well as how you want people to view you. Please let me know if you need any further clarification or have any questions.

Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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