How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question

Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1813
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dear Debra is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My now ex fiance and I recently split up because I found out

Resolved Question:

My now ex fiance and I recently split up because I found out he was going out and texting his ex behind my back. I just found out on Sunday that he was sleeping with her while we were together. After denying it all day Sunday he texted me Monday and said " I'm sorry hope u have a nice life and everything works out for u". I responded " its cool. btw i have several of ur things at my place. just wanted to give u a heads up that i'll be mailing them to u and to expect a package in the mail." He never responded which was fine. However today he texted me and said " ok thanks". I don't understand why he'd text me back an entire day later. If he wasn't going to answer me he just should've left it at that. Is he trying to get me to talk to him?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.

Deardebra : Yes, he is trying to talk too you.Want
Deardebra : He tried denying what he did because he does not want to lose you but he new that he was caught so he just said to you to have a nice life because he is upset about what he did.
Deardebra : Some time people do not realize how much they love and care for someone until they lose them. He knows he made a huge mistake and now you have informed him that it is over.
Deardebra : But be prepared for him appologizing and trying to get you back. He might still deny what he did to get you back. He might even try to turn it around on you saying you accused him of something that is not true.
Deardebra : But you seem to know that soemthing was going on so he can not deny what has happened.
Deardebra : I feel that in order for you both to move on you both should talk things out to get closure.
Deardebra : I am sure you have questions about what he has done and why.
Customer:

The whole situation is a mess. He had told the other woman ( his ex) our engagement was fake. he had told me he wanted to work things out but ended up sleeping with her during that time period. i caught him then a week later he did it again and kept seeing her in public places. i had told him i was absolutely done and thats when he texted me his "apology" the next day

Deardebra : He sounds confused.
Deardebra : He appologized the next day. Did he tell you if he wanted to go back to his ex?
Customer:

he said he had feelings for her yes but he didnt want to be with her one day. then sunday he told me he loved her and wanted to be with her. he went back and forth a lot. however i know that she is no longer speaking to him after her and i spoke

Customer:

shes not speaking to him and he texted me today

Deardebra : She feels like he lied too her because he had her believing that there was nothing between you and him. Now she knows that he lied too her and she is no longer talking with him. One thing I do think is if he did go back with her he would have realized he didn't want to be with her and he wanted to be with you.
Deardebra : I think he was confused about how he felt and he would have relaized that things would have not worked out with his ex because he would have missed you.
Customer:

yeah. im just confused lol. i dont understand why hed text me back an entire 24 hours later and say " ok thanks".

Deardebra : I feel he didnt want to text back right away because it would have looked like he was waiting for you to text him, he wanted you to think that he was not effected by anything that has happend. He wanted you to think he was not talking too you or he could have wanted to wait for you to not be upset and gave you time to think.
Deardebra : But I feel he waited so he could keep the conversation going.
Deardebra : This way he could wait hoping you would talk with him.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1813
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency