Hi, I am sorry about what you are going through and I understand how tough it can be when stuck in the middle. In my opinion you should definitely not stay with the abusive one. That can never be good and is very dangerous. I would run from that. Now in regards XXXXX XXXXX other I would take it for what it is. If you were not satisfied with him and felt inclined to look elsewhere and also tried living together and it didn't work then maybe it might be time to move on from him as well. I would think about if you truly want to make it work with him or not then go from there. However, based on the circumstances you both have been seeing each other a long time and if you still have not gotten the relationship you want from him then it may be time to let him go as well. I know how hard it seems now, but the first step is always the hardest and I would start with cutting the abusive one off asap to protect yourself. Time will really heal you from this situation and you will be able to move on with your life. The best thing you can do is take steps in the right direction and taking one decision at a tim. I wish you all the best and please let me know if I can be of further help.
Why am I so attached to the abusive one though.
he's not physically abusive just possessive to the point that he tape records me and takes my phone and calls people that are on my cell phone