We have spoken before and I am sad to hear that you are struggling.
You left the relationship and desire to be with a man, but being in your past relationship does not make it impossible to find what you desire with a man. I am hoping that in time as you let yourself feel what you feel that you can let go of the harsh internal criticism so that you can open yourself up to loving someone else.
I do not share the view that you have lost the chance to be in a wonderful relationship with a man.
I will wait for you to come online so we can talk more. In the meantime, I truly hope you can let go of some of the guilt and anger toward yourself.....letting this go will bring some freedom and ability to connect and seek out what you desire.
I have guilt and anger at myself because I realize that I wasted so much of my life in a relationship which I did not need to be in in the first place. It may have met my need emotionally, but not sexually. I knew this, and was afraid to let go of the relationship. The thought that I could have been with a man all along is killing me.Knowing that I could have had a SAFE, loving man in my life all this time is something I cannot live with. I don't think I have ever been in a relationship where I have felt fulfilled, and this one is just another example of my stupidity. I am afraid that no man will love me enough to give me a chance to show them that I can be a good partner to them and faithful, fulfilled, etc.
Thank you so much. The relationship lasted far to long, but I did get the emotional support that I needed at the time. Hopefully I can forgive myself so I can move on.
Thank you so much. I know this sounds odd as I do not know you, but you are one of the few people I trust.