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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2816
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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What to say by phone to a dear friend dying of cancer? This

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What to say by phone to a dear friend dying of cancer? This would be from one female octagenarian to another living 300 miles away. They are lifelong friends as were their parents before them and both grew up in the same town, are the same age, went to the same college together, and thereafter stayed with one another on many occasions when visiting after having moved away. The senior who is dying of cancer had been hopeful her cancer could be contained or go into remission but it has spread such that the prognosis is no longer very hopeful. The purpose of the call is to merely check up on how the friiend is doing, to express love and care, but to not depress the friend by dwelling or even mentioning depressing subjects if possible. So how to keep it light while expressing love and concern without the conversation descending into something that both friends might regret?
Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

I think you have stated it perfectly here. You are clear in what your goal is....to check up, express your love and caring and it could be stated that simply. You sound like a loving person and your families have such a rich history. Often people are so afraid to make these calls, but the other person ends up feeling so thankful that you weren't afraid and didn't back away.

Please call and express exactly what you would like and that is your care, love and concern. It is also very healing to reminisce about the rich history that the family shares and the long standing love and care. Sometimes the anticipation of the call could feel more worrisome than the actual call. So be true to yourself and your feelings with her and express all you feel. I wish you the best and please feel free to write more to me and I will respond.
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