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askcounselor
askcounselor, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 103
Experience:  I am a licensed clinical mental health therapist.
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I am confused about signals I get from my attorney. The first

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I am confused about signals I get from my attorney. The first time we met we talked and laughed for a few hours. The next time was very formal but after everyone left he told me that I was elegant and we hugged pretty tight. I kinda thought about it afterwards but quickly decided it was nothing. Besides being old enough to be my grandfather, we are of different race. The other day met in a professional setting we made eye contact from across the room several times and he would wink at me each time. He told me that I have a face that he could never forget like a preschool teacher. He made plenty of jokes and told stories. This was all in the presence of other partners. Before we parted ways I mentioned that I was gonna have a drink and he replied saying something to the tune of why would I be putting my ruby lips on a drink. We also had a friendly hug. I def thought he was flirting and I kinda was flattered even though I think that he is married. Meanwhile, I decided to send him an ecard that basically said you sure know how to make a person smile and thanked him for his help. Well he sent a reply card thaning me for the card and said it made him smile. He then said take care and keep smiling... So now I am confused! It's not like I see him everyday so I thought the card would break the ice if there was anything there. I am starting to think that maybe he is just a flirt... But I am also wondering if I read into things wrong #confused #help

askcounselor :

Hi, I am here to assist with your question, and hopefully shed some light on the situation...do you feel that this whole thing has left you uneasy or would you like to go out with this gentleman?

Customer:

I would like to go out with him. The other part is that I do work for the law firm that he counsels with and they just completed representing me

askcounselor :

So it may be a question of not mixing work with outside relationships -- sometimes referred to as a dual relationship!

Customer:

Well he is no longer representing me. And if he was concerned then why would he what i consider "flirt" with me out in the open?

askcounselor :

He may not be concerned, but sometimes it is important just to protect ourselves...

Customer:

So is it because I sent an email?

Customer:

Do you think his behavior has been innocent?

askcounselor :

Nothing that's been done so far has hurt anyone and it may be that flirting with a beautiful younger woman is what he is looking for. It is perfectly innocent!

Customer:

But i feel led on

askcounselor :

The part that you have to figure out is if you wish it to develop into something more.

Customer:

I am afraid of rejection bc now I question rather he was just flirting or would want more

askcounselor :

It may be that you have compromised a certain part of yourself that you don't ordinarily let go of...

Customer:

But the way we stared in each others eyes, I felt a connection

Customer:

I can't imagine him going that far with a typical client or I am sure he would be barred by now...

askcounselor :

In all honesty, I would be a little wary...

askcounselor :

You have every right to be flattered and to feel good about the attention, but maybe going about your daily business is the best plan!

Customer:

He said that his partner thought that I was a special and had great things to say about me. They are very prominent in their field..

Customer:

Wary why?

askcounselor :

You may want to keep business, business and not take the chance of having anything come between you and your work.

Customer:

So was he just wanting to hook up? what would be the point in all the flirting?

askcounselor :

There are sometimes men who just like to flirt, but other who wish to take it to the relationship level.

askcounselor :

I just think that you should be careful and protect your feelings, since you work together.

askcounselor :

He is also married, so keeping it light may make it alright.

Customer:

Hopefully the card didn't send him the wrong message, besides that I never showed much signs of flirting it was all him

Customer:

I don't see him at all because I am never in their office. So that will likely be that. It was a great fantasy and I am one to act on impulse but I think you're right and I should fall back.

askcounselor :

Good judgment for a smart, sophisticated lady!

Customer:

Haven't had a man compliment and flatter me so much in a long time if EVER

Customer:

I appreciate it.

askcounselor :

It's nice, right, but YOU are the one who inspired it!

Customer:

Got it,,,, Thank you

askcounselor :

Please take a moment to rate me so that I know that I'm being helpful. Take care of yourself and thank you!

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Thank you for your positive feedback. Take care of yourself. I am available if you ever have another question.

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