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askcounselor
askcounselor, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 103
Experience:  I am a licensed clinical mental health therapist.
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I am in love with two people and I dont know what to do

This answer was rated:

I am in love with two people and I dont know what to do

askcounselor :

Hi, I am here to help with your question and assist you in any way I can. Can you tell me a little about these two relationships?

Customer:

HI Yes I one guy (J) I have known for a long time and for the last five years we have been friends but he has always wanted more. I adore him but didnt feel as attracted to him as I wanted to be. so I dated other people and found (M) who I am engaged to because he is a good guy and im attracted to him. but I miss J and I don't know who I want to be with more

askcounselor :

It may be that you need to give yourself more time with these two relationships before making a serious commitment...there is so much that you may discover about each that you don't know right know, and having as much information about a person is essential before you decide to marry.

Customer:

I have known M for a year and a half and I do feel like I know them both very well. I dont feel like I should rush anything either because of my feelings. I wrote a list of what I like and dont like about each one and I dont feel like it helped me really.

askcounselor :

Is there any reason that you cannot continue to see both and tell them about the fact that you have two relationships right now?

Customer:

neither of them will do that. j doesnt talk to me at all anymore.

askcounselor :

Sorry to hear about that..it may be that you need to take a short hiatus from both relationships just in order to become grounded, get a sense of serentiy and peace, and do something to help yourself re-focus and clear your mind.

askcounselor :

How does that sound?

Customer:

Well at this point in my life I do really want tobe with someone

askcounselor :

Perhaps this may happen soon, but take a few days to self-reflect and examine what would really make you happy in a partner.

askcounselor :

Sometimes we have to let go in order to really know that if it comes back, it is ours.

Customer:

ok

askcounselor :

I hope that you find all that will make you happy.

Customer:

thank you!

askcounselor :

Please give me a 'positive' rating since this is the manner in which I know I have been helpful. Thanks again!

askcounselor and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you for your positive feedback. I am available if you need me. Good luck to you and I wish you all the best!

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