How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Mark Your Own Question

Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5220
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr. Mark is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I just wanted to get a second opinion on this one: Hi,

This answer was rated:

I just wanted to get a second opinion on this one:


my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years just dumped me out of the blue two weeks ago. We've had a very happy, stable relationship. No fights. No violence. The sex was great. I thought it was out of the blue but as I began analysing, I saw where it went wrong. About 3 months ago I had some issues at work and I was very frustrated about it (she tried to help - we work at the same company -, but I had to solve this on my own). And this frustration spilled over to my, well our private life. I had no energy, was totally lazy and just wanted to sit on the couch and watch TV in the evening. I didn't show her enough love and affection, although my feelings never changed, but I was "lazy" in the relationship as well. We didn't have sex for one month (it was regular - daily - before that). I think she felt pushed away by this and thought my feelings had cooled down. We talked about this 2 months ago and I told her I still love her and this is just a phase that will go away. But ... I was still lazy about the relationship - didn't do my part, didn't show her how much I care. Then things went well again, I was out of my slump and started to put more work into the relationship, but it seems she felt as she was losing me and got scared (?) and ended the relationship. It was not until we had "the talk", that I relaised my wrong doings, but she had made her choice. I thanked her for the talk, hugged her, told her I understand and that I need some time for myself. Broke contact 100 % (just say hi to her at work and make small talk about the weather if we meet, nothing else). She has tried contacting me during this time, told me she would like to talk again, but I told her it was too early (that was 1 week ago). I needed to get my emotions in check and think about do I really love her. Or do I just miss the relationship and my EGO is hurting. I really love her and are willing to work harder for us to be happy. I also found out through mutual friends, that she's really sad and in a bad mood. She's coming over to my place to get her things ... I was wondering should I try talking to her about what went wrong and how I'm willing to fix it. I still love her A LOT.

We talked a lot about how we would be together forever, but I guess everybody does that.

I'm 30 yrs old, have had my share of relationships, so I know you have to put work into them after the first madly-in-love-phase. She's 28 and this has only been her 2 relationship.

What should I do?

Hi! I'll be glad to be of help with this issue.

I can imagine how difficult this situation must be for you. You are now ready to try to build on the past and to create a new relationship that will be strong. But you're not sure if she is prepared to do the same.

The indications that she's made, though, certainly seem to point to her wanting to make the relationship work: she tried to make contact with you, she said that she wants to talk again.

These are very good indications but most important is that you feel you love her. That's such an important affirmation you've arrived at. And it should lead the way in your actions. Here's what I mean:

You love her and you want to work on the relationship. There is no need to wait for any signals from her because she's already given the signals. There is much reason to have hope. Therefore, be romantic. In the classical sense. Send her flowers and include a very personal note about your recognizing her importance to you and what a good person she is.

Then send her an email with a poem you write about your feelings for her. It doesn't have to be a great poem, it just has to be something you've written. The idea?

Show your feelings by showing that you are already working on the relationship. Then ask her on a date and make part of the date walking together and talking. In other words, start working on the relationship even now. Because there is much reason to be hopeful.

Okay, I wish you the very best!

My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5220
Experience: Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
Dr. Mark and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions