Great. And, can most people call right back, what is normal, a normal frequency for calling? She has kids who might be able to
reach her anytime. I told her they could call anytime too.
What if she did not do that?
If you had a slight disagreement, can you remain friends?
Can I say, was there anything you can't deal with or something similar? What?
Does it have to be the exact in detail description of what has or may have happened?
If that's it, thank you.
Yes, and what if I said I will call you later and you can call back, should I not wait and call sooner?:
If you can, otherwise I'll ask it as a different question, what if you expressed something or thought something derogatory,
and she found out somehow without hearing or seeing you, like through a third party, then would that end a
friendship? Sometimes people can watch for little things and make them seem bigger? Maybe.
What if it is not talked about in detail, like just "was there anything?"
Great, and anything I can do to reinforce it and make it very strong so it stays?
If that's it, thank you very much!
One more thing, what to say about the problems, how to talk about them, how would you talk about them?
Is it, I did not mean to say that, or how to do it?
What if I did?
And then what if it did?
Sounds good, anything else?
Thank you then.
This friend of mine, her husband was interested in me and I usually
tell the man nothing will actually happen, well this went on for a long
time, he told her about it and told her to tell me. Well I should have
said lets remain all friends but instead I said nothing. After awhile she
decided to work on their relationship and this is what happened, she
decided to take action like serving lots of food when we were over at
her house, and saying things and doing things about someone being
cheap, like he told her "I can dress you up but I can't take you out",
which was letting her know how he was interested in relating to her,
now that they were concentrating on improving their relationship,
he meant the other person getting in the way of this was or any
other person who might get in the way was cheap but I'm afraid it
referred to me. He was not serious, just letting her know there was
a problem with the relationship with me I think. Well she started
dressing up and losing weight and to look like a model, and
using that as a theme for the new relationship. I suspect she said
something to someone at Macy's because all around town people
started to wear dark lipstick, or too much or looks like too much,a cheap person would do that. This
was many years ago already, also she started a trend in wearing
large jewelry in the local area, which implies someone does not
know how to wear jewelry. She also did a few things about things
I told her, like I didn't like the width of a belt in a store and it was
silver, so she wore one she had at home which was thinner but
not necessarily matching her outfit. Then she, our neighbors
do a gift exchange, and she got cards one year with a red door on
the card, that was the whole card, which looks like my neighbor's
door. She had spent more time with me so that was like rejection.
Whether it is a coincidence or not, red became a popular color,
and narrow belts and big jewelry, everyone wore them and still
does. She also gave a lot of extra food in the Christmas gifts,
and huge portions of food showed up in the local grocery store
and it could have been her saying something and if not it is a
reminder. Everyone started dressing up around town and losing
weight, books about thin Audrey Hepburn became popular. Then
last Christmas she gave a gift which had a card which matched
the wrapping but in the wrong way, both were dark like navy blue,
with lots of shiny details on them but they did not match properly
but they did match. Then even in the local paper the photog-
raphers started taking pictures which were unusual except they
matched, like a bad angle but two things in the pictures matched.
The gift contained a smaller amount of food than normal and
a large size of two hot chocolates, and it was hinting that
something was wrong, it seemed not friendly to me. It was friendly
to the other neighbors. The people are trend setters, she used
to live in Malibu and went to church with showbiz people and
knew other people involved in showbiz, as they lived (wealthy)
there. It's hard for me to see the flyers from Macys and everywhere
with all the red and small belts and lots of food and pictures that don't
match, whether she started the trends or not it is not a good feeling,
it kind of has affected my life experience and no one else's. By the
time it is a trend, popular for people to do, like everyone wears too
dark lipstick and no one told me to do that, it's hard to know how to
ask her about it. It seems too far gone. The other neighbors are
closer to celebrity status, than me, but are not, but they have a horse ranch and one of them advertises locally and one is a state senator,
there are a couple of successful doctors. There were only five of
us involved. I depend on her in case something happens to me, she
had offered support, of many kinds, and I do not have that from
anyone else, even after all this activity. So I don't know how aware
she is of how all this happened, and don't know what to say. I asked
her already if there was anything preventing us from being friends and
she said no; but, today I got two pictures from her of their garden
which showed lots and lots of buds but few flowers and the other
one was taken at an angle where you could see the stems of
everything more than normal but it matched, similar technique to
the newspaper photos. I have made phone calls and it gets around
town in about five minutes, I can tell, so it's possible she did these
trends, just what to say, I would normally say the pictures were
beautiful, but now don't know what to say about the matching
because it's like the Christmas present which matched oddly too,
which I didn't get why except she had no reason to pick that for
the neighbors but it goes along with her theme that I am cheap.
Do I say lots of buds? Someone else not affected by this like me
would know the right thing to say about it. I can't really say it's just
beautiful...how do I handle this? And look how long this story is but
I really feel bad about it, also, do local people know or think she
doesn't like me? What to do and how to handle this? She has said
nothing is wrong and we phone every other day and email, but how
can I give gifts and relate to her when all the trends support others
but not me because of her husband, people can do that in a town too
if they notice her and she is very active. Please note, this does not
necessarily refer to the earlier question, I inadvertently asked this on
the reply screen for the expert. Will wait for an answer.