NO, this does NOT answer my questions at ALL. My husband, among many other things, has expressed that I should report to him concerning every penny I spend (and everything has a price tag to him, too). That makes me feel like a child and that he's my father. And, what ever subject is spoken about such as I would say it's a sunny day and he says not exactly I saw some clouds - just contradictory - to my every thought. But, then when he sees that I've had it with all of this defensiveness in his attitude, he says he'll change. But, he doesn't and an hour or a few hours later, he is sarcastic again. The reason this is so difficult too is that - then - he'll want to have sex, and I am sorry but I cannot respond to him lovingly when he has hurt me so deeply. My question for you is: If he wants a loving, trusting relationship, why does he sabotage it ('keep shooting himself in the foot') so often? If I show him a journal, he'll criticize that - and say that I'm just looking for an argument. When I want to discuss these things, he says he has to go to work (or someplace) and he'll come around when I'm happy.