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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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i feel personally really stuck. i felt like i fell in love

Customer Question

i feel personally really stuck. i felt like i fell in love with someone i have known for a long time about 3 years ago. we basically have broken up and gone our separate ways but i still love him. i feel like i put too much pressure on the relationship and can't seem to forgive myself for pushing him away. i hate the thought of him with someone else and i want to win him back but really am struggling with figuring out if this is a realistic pursuit or if i really should be letting him go. i have tried to go on a few dates but just don't feel like i like anyone else. what should i do?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

It seems as if you have been trying so hard to move past this. You have been doing everything that a therapist would guide you to do: journaling, trying to meet someone new, meditation, and self help.

You are also still in a period of grief (normal depression) over this loss and have not had enough time to let him fade from your mind. It is very much like having an injured finger and hoping the pain will just go away. It will, but the component of time as a healing agent must be considered.

You are hastening the process to a certain extent by your very positive behavior.

If he knows you are out there and want him back and he does not take the offer, then you must move forward.

If he does not know, then you may send him one letter letting him know and asking him directly if you two have a change again. If he says no then move on.

Let me recommend a book for you that may prove very helpful.

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Little Book of Letting Go, The: A Revolutionary 30-Day Program to Cleanse Your Mind, Lift Your Spirit and Replenish... by Hugh Prather and Gerald Jampolsky

 

I wish you great success in resolving this issue in one way or the other. Pursue resolution and peace in your life and you shall find it.

 

I shall keep you in my prayers.

 

Warm regards,

 

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

 

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I appreciate your response.


I think I didnt find it very helpful.


I think I already knew everything you were saying- I thought this was a tarot or psychic person that was responding who could give me more insight into his thoughts.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Dear Nina,

I am a psychotherapist with 7 years of graduate training beyond college level and understand human motivation quite well.

I have also been trained and well-practiced in using the Chinese divination method, called the I Ching or Book of Changes and cast the coins for you, since this is your preferred method. It is similar to Tarot except more effective.

I have caste the divination coins for you and the result was #57: The Gentle (The Penetrating, The Wind), with a nine at the top. This means:

Penetration under the bed.
He loses his property and his ax.
Persverance brings misfortune.


To explain this further, if means that persisting in trying to penetrate into "the most secrete corners, into the personal domain of darkness, would only bring harm"

He has moved on and not longer wants to be with you. The "hunt" is futile and will bring you no success.

http://deoxy.org/iching/57

The only line that counts because of the coins I caste are 9 at the top.

Warm regards

Elliott

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