How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
40019946
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My girlfriend caught me by surprise when she just suddenly

Customer Question

My girlfriend caught me by surprise when she just suddenly broke up with me without explanation. To the best of my knowledge, I cannot think of anything I said or did that was offensive. The only thing I have a doubt about, yet I still think it's really nothing, is the following: My gardner used to very often eat at some Meat Market Deli during his lunch hour. However, since this Meat Market Deli burned down, my gardner now usually eats at Jack-In-The-Box during his lunch hour. My father owns 3 different properties, and has men working on these 3 properties. I sometimes have my gardner go and do some work at these 3 properties in order to help my father out. Near one of these 3 property locations is another location of the name of the Meat Market Deli where my gardner used to eat at during his lunch hour. I talked about all of this with my girlfriend, and just out of casual conversation, I said that maybe I ought to have my gardner work solely at the property location that is near this other location of the Meat Market Deli so that my gardner will be near the place where he likes to have lunch at. I meant no harm by it. I really didn't. It was just casual conversation, really. Anyway, this brings me to my question; my question is this: Do you think or believe that my girlfriend may have thought I was insulting my gardner or implying or insinuating something about my gardner? Thank you for your assistance.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help you.

I can see absolutely no rational reason why your girlfriend broke up with you abruptly that is in any way connected to your gardener.


Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Jaime,

You may have other issues that she has taken exception to, and you need to think about those. I have seen that you have been to JustAnswer many times and it seems that you do have a few things going on in your life that may be difficult issues for you.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, CCMHC, NCC
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Which categories should I be paying more attention to? Surely, you are not talking about questions I have asked in the "Medical" category or the "TV" category or the "Electrical" category or the "Plumbing" category or the "Mechanic" category or the "Printers" category and such.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Jaime,

No I did not mean any categories in particular. It just indicates that you have a very inquisitive mind. You have lots of questions and you want answers. Some of them show intellectual or practical interests, some show personal concerns.

She may be a lot more laid back than you and does not share your "need to know" or need for answers.

I certainly do and I cannot be otherwise. I know some people who wonder why I bother.

I guess I like to stimulate and fulfill my brain.

I imagine that she did not share your curiosity and perhaps that is why she moved on to less greener pastures.

I wish you continued intellectual curiosity and growth and I am sorry that she let you down.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Additionally, when a person abruptly breaks up with a person without an explanation, isn't it very possible that it may be that that person is a "predator of the heart"? In other words, they abruptly try to break up without an explanation in order to see if their victim will "obsessively pursue" them, and if they do, then they try to control and manipulate them; however, if they DON'T pursue them, then they give up on that person and look for somebody else that they can control and/or manipulate. Correct? True or False?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Jaime,

That is a very interesting thought and concept: "predator of the heart".

In mental health terms it could be similar to a narcissist who victimizes their partner or spouse or lover in order to control them. Narcissists need to have what is called "narcissistic supply" from others, the way a vampire needs blood.

They get this "supply" by seeking admiration from others, by controlling others, and by tricking others with cons and lies.

They have no empathy for others. They are not capable of having any, and thus they cannot feel or be moved by the pain or anguish of others.

Therefore I would have to say, "TRUE"!!!!

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.

Thank you so much.

 

May God continue to bless you, Jaime.

 

My very best wishes,

 

Elliott

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions