How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My girlfriend caught me by surprise when she just suddenly

This answer was rated:

My girlfriend caught me by surprise when she just suddenly broke up with me without explanation. To the best of my knowledge, I cannot think of anything I said or did that was offensive. The only thing I have a doubt about, yet I still think it's really nothing, is the following: My gardner used to very often eat at some Meat Market Deli during his lunch hour. However, since this Meat Market Deli burned down, my gardner now usually eats at Jack-In-The-Box during his lunch hour. My father owns 3 different properties, and has men working on these 3 properties. I sometimes have my gardner go and do some work at these 3 properties in order to help my father out. Near one of these 3 property locations is another location of the name of the Meat Market Deli where my gardner used to eat at during his lunch hour. I talked about all of this with my girlfriend, and just out of casual conversation, I said that maybe I ought to have my gardner work solely at the property location that is near this other location of the Meat Market Deli so that my gardner will be near the place where he likes to have lunch at. I meant no harm by it. I really didn't. It was just casual conversation, really. Anyway, this brings me to my question; my question is this: Do you think or believe that my girlfriend may have thought I was insulting my gardner or implying or insinuating something about my gardner? Thank you for your assistance.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help you.

I can see absolutely no rational reason why your girlfriend broke up with you abruptly that is in any way connected to your gardener.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Dear Jaime,

You may have other issues that she has taken exception to, and you need to think about those. I have seen that you have been to JustAnswer many times and it seems that you do have a few things going on in your life that may be difficult issues for you.

Warm regards,

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Which categories should I be paying more attention to? Surely, you are not talking about questions I have asked in the "Medical" category or the "TV" category or the "Electrical" category or the "Plumbing" category or the "Mechanic" category or the "Printers" category and such.

Dear Jaime,

No I did not mean any categories in particular. It just indicates that you have a very inquisitive mind. You have lots of questions and you want answers. Some of them show intellectual or practical interests, some show personal concerns.

She may be a lot more laid back than you and does not share your "need to know" or need for answers.

I certainly do and I cannot be otherwise. I know some people who wonder why I bother.

I guess I like to stimulate and fulfill my brain.

I imagine that she did not share your curiosity and perhaps that is why she moved on to less greener pastures.

I wish you continued intellectual curiosity and growth and I am sorry that she let you down.

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Additionally, when a person abruptly breaks up with a person without an explanation, isn't it very possible that it may be that that person is a "predator of the heart"? In other words, they abruptly try to break up without an explanation in order to see if their victim will "obsessively pursue" them, and if they do, then they try to control and manipulate them; however, if they DON'T pursue them, then they give up on that person and look for somebody else that they can control and/or manipulate. Correct? True or False?

Dear Jaime,

That is a very interesting thought and concept: "predator of the heart".

In mental health terms it could be similar to a narcissist who victimizes their partner or spouse or lover in order to control them. Narcissists need to have what is called "narcissistic supply" from others, the way a vampire needs blood.

They get this "supply" by seeking admiration from others, by controlling others, and by tricking others with cons and lies.

They have no empathy for others. They are not capable of having any, and thus they cannot feel or be moved by the pain or anguish of others.

Therefore I would have to say, "TRUE"!!!!

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Thank you so much.


May God continue to bless you, Jaime.


My very best wishes,



Related Relationship Questions