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Dear Debra
Dear Debra , Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Why is it that the guys i like dont like me

Customer Question

Why is it that the guys i like don't like me
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.

Deardebra : You want to first look at the in why you feel he does not like you. Some times people can be shy, some times people can get overwhelmed by their feelings and back away.
Deardebra : SSome times people care about someone but back away because they are afraid to get hurt.
Deardebra : I want you to look at how this person has been acting and what makes you feel the person us not interested.
Deardebra : this person could really like you but doesntt know how to act around you because they could be so overwhelmed by emotions.
Deardebra : If you lets say asked to go on a date and the person has an excuse. It doesntt mean they are not interested it might just mean they are nervous to go on a date.
Deardebra : Some times people might not be ready to make that first step because they are afraid to mess up that first impression. So they back away instead of put their heart out their and try.
Deardebra : TThis is why you need to look close at all the signs the person is expressing.
Deardebra : TThere are ways to tell if someone is interested in you but they are just nervous.
Deardebra : They might even go as far as avoiding because they don't know how to deal with emotions.
Customer :

would you say chasing a guy is futile

Deardebra : No, I do not because the end result could end up with two people in love in a long term relationship.
Deardebra : If you do not try you will never know how the person really feels.
Deardebra : You don't want to wonder you want to know if the person feels the same way, so you try and see where it goes.
Deardebra : It is ok to follow your heart and see if he truly likes you and if there is anything there in the future.
Customer :

Why is there all this new literature that says don't chase a guy if he likes you he will make a move.etc.

Deardebra :

That is just people personal opinion on relationships. But you can not just sit back and wait for a guy to chase you because all people are afraid of rejection. A guy if he is not getting the signs that you like him he might not even try.

Deardebra :

But if someone is shy they are never going to ask someone out because of fear.

Deardebra :

Its the unknown people think a lot about if someone likes them or how they should approach the situation and as time passes people move on. You need to not wait because you want him to know he has a chance with you to be an a relationship.

Deardebra :

People think that absence makes the heart grow fonder, well absence is what cause a loss of connection.

Deardebra :

If you are not there sharing your life with the person they learn to live on their own.

Deardebra :

If they come home and they want to share their day with a phone call that is that comfort level in them sharing their life with you. If they feel that the person is not there they move on.

Deardebra :

I see long distance relationship work all the time.

Deardebra :

because the people stay connected through Skype, phone calls, texts, letters, they even plan visits.

Deardebra :

This is how people realize that they want to be in this person life forever. They begin to realize that they never want to love without the person.

Deardebra :

You just can't wait for someone to chase you because they just might not think your interested. People always think they could have someone else and they don't even try. But how would you know what is there if you never try.

Deardebra :

A lot of times I see the person says I had feeling for you to but I wasn't sure if you had feelings for me. That is very common. So you want to tell the person you like how you feel. Even if they say nothing they could be just wondering or be surprised how you feel. But it is worth trying.

Deardebra :

I would just explain how you feel in an e-mail so the person can read ti and think about how they feel, then respond.

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