and I know I must sound like that love-struck youth that doesn't have a clue what she's doing. I can say that my dad is very supportive in all aspects except emotional support. He has bi-polar disorder and no patience. my boyfriend played a very big role in my life when my mother died. as for the leave, it's that or I flunk out. I really just want my boyfriend because when we're together I feel safe and secure and happy. I understand that breaking up with him would be a reasonable option, but to me it's not. He's my support system. He's there day or night. It hurts to be torn in between this obviously very permanent and influential figure and this other loving figure. We fight, yes. But I can say I've had more extreme and frequent fights with my father then this kid.
but you see? even when you tell me I should break up with him, even after I asked honestly, I get defensive! How am I going to make the move myself when I can't even come to terms with it.