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TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5770
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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me and my ex boyfriend broke up 10 months ago, after 4 amazing

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me and my ex boyfriend broke up 10 months ago, after 4 amazing years. now we dont talk at all and he blocked me on facebook. i have a new boyfriend and he is great, but i cant stop thinking and dreaming of my ex. im afraid to talk to him incase he doesnt want to talk to me or that it will really upset me, his birthday is XXXXX up next month and i want to wish him a happy birthday nothing more but i dont want to creep him out, anyways i just dont know what to do.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like your ex has some reason he has stopped communicating with you if he is blocking you from Facebook and will not speak to you. He is either still upset about whatever broke the two of you up, or he has a new relationship and his partner insists that he have no contact with you (due to jealousy possibly). Either way, his message to you is that he does not want any contact.

However, you still have unresolved feelings about him. That leaves you to deal with your feelings alone if you cannot communicate with him.

Sending him a card for his birthday is XXXXX but you still have feelings that will not be resolved by that. To resolve how you feel, you might want to write a letter to him instead. This allows you to get your feelings out (therapeutic for you) and lets him read the letter in privacy (if a girlfriend is involved) and it is less invasive than if you try to text or call. Explain that you feel unresolved but that you respect his privacy. Let him know what you felt about your relationship and him, but also include your feelings about letting go of the relationship. This will serve to help you work out what you feel and help him possibly to feel better about any contact with you.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate






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