Kate ,I spoke to her as she called me after work. She wanted to discuss my statement that" I felt like I was on an island"..I said I would prefer to do that in person. Well she started anyway.. I told her that I supported her and she flipped out on me and said I talked out of both sides of my mouth that I was condescending. I just got quiet as I did not know what to say.. She stated that she was doing it for the boys and that I would do the same thing if the tables were turned..She said she was going to continue to do it until he dies or can or will do it himself. I could not find any words.. She is going up tonight to arrange a phone call between him and the boys..I feel like my opposition is ending our relationship..I texted her in an effort to open the communication but have not heard back.. Im at a lose what is my best approach here?
She is basically telling you that she wants to do this her way and that what you feel about it is not as important than what she feels about it. When someone is refusing to listen there is not much you can do to make them. You have tried talking to her but right now she is not hearing you. So that leaves you to decide how you want to react.
You have a few choices in what you can do. One is to leave this as it is and just deal with what she is doing. That doesn't solve anything and it makes you feel like you do not matter. But it is an option. Two, you can leave the relationship. Not ideal but it might help you get out of the situation. Three, you can take a break from the relationship. That might get her attention or it may not. But it would give you some time to think this through. Four, you can continue to try to talk to her. That may help and it may not. But if she won't hear you, then she is not willing to resolve this right now.
thank you kate