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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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hi ive written you before about my bf and i maybe you would

Customer Question

hi ive written you before about my bf and i maybe you would remember me. update on my relationship i have to say things has been good. we have been getting along and trying us to be happy. but he other night i spent the night over at his house and i now to am workin night shifts. we were laying in bed n i couldnt sleep such a hard time. i moved and moved so much. im sure he was annoyed by it but i assume he just let it be. he asked what was wrong i mentioned i couldnt sleep he said just tried to relax. the night went on got some sleep but not much. just to say i hve not seen him in four days due to schedule n doing our own thing. anywho, the next morning we woke up he ask if i had sleep i said yes but not much that i even had nightmares. but in the morning he got on his phone me kept moving around due to still being tired and thats hat i do when i cant sleep move alot. i had said babe talk to me, he says whts up still looking at the phone. i felt not all attention was on me so i turned around not sayin anything and he says babe can you not move and stay still for awhile. i said no, i got up and said im going. he said why, i feel uncomfortable i didnt sleep much your asking me not to move im not comfortanle. get ready and he says try to get sleep bc you work tonigh too. i said i will. i asked to walked me out he did took me to my car and said our goodbyes. later that night i went to work i have not hard from him all day, around 1am at work i tx saying babe i need to say how i feel this isnt to hurt you but something i need change. i just wanted you to understand that i was resless and you telling me not to move when my body feels different didnt help. i havent heard from him all day i mean i thought in relationships you need to be honest and comminicate and he once said that i need to speak up and tell him what i need but now that we have been doing good and i let him know i dont hear from him. since then i havent tx or call him.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 4 years ago.

Deardebra : I want you to be open and honest just like you are doing.
Deardebra : A relationship is all about communication.
Deardebra : If you have something in your mind you were restless sleeping. You need to tell him why and be honest, you both should set a time aside to talk about what is going on. The only way to have a strong lasting relationship is telling each other your wants and needs in this relationship.
Deardebra : If something is bothering you, you tell him for now on I going to be telling you how I feel. This is important because one thing in relationships is you never want the other person guessing in what is wrong.
Deardebra : If he knows how you feel then he will be able to fix and solve the problem.
Deardebra : You also did not see him for four days do emotions run high when your excited to see someone you just wanted that time his fully attention to talk and to just connect with each other.
Deardebra : I feel you were very clear about your feelings but some times when people love someone so much they don't want to hear there is a problem in the relationship some times they ignore it hoping it goes away. I feel this is what he is doing. He wants the relationship to be perfect but things need to be discussed in order for them to get to perfect.
Deardebra : Communication will resolve And bring you both closer because there will be no hidden feelings.
Deardebra : Your right in telling him how you feel but he needs to be open to listening and be understanding.
Deardebra : He needs to not look at that you both need to talk as something negative. He needs to know that it will make the relationship stronger.
Deardebra : You also were clear you were not trying to hurt him so that was good so he knows problems can be fixed.
Deardebra : i want you to contact him again do he knows you just need to talk, you just need him to be there just to listen.
Deardebra : He will understand once you both talk everything out.

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