"Karin" Hello again from Mitchell, and I am once again reaching out because of this relationship that recently ended. It was a very passionate (but admittedley volatile) relationship that both she and I had put alot of energy into..I am just having a difficult time coming to terms with the fact she has already began a new relationship with someone almost as soon as we broke up. I was aware of the betrayal, and although I am still good friends with my ex-wife and see and talk with her occaisonally, I just don't think I could bear the thoughts of being with anyone emotionally or intimately but my ex-girlfriend, and especially not intimately, which I am certain she has been with the new guy. The fact that he was there at 2 a.m., and knowing that she is a fairly sexual and passionate woman leaves little doubt she has been...and it nearly makes me nauseous thinking about it...I agree counseling will help, but often those things take time to set up and to move through...I need some light shed on this... I figure it is probably a rebound relationship, and those often don't go well, and have their own unique problems...friends have told me that she just probably didn't care as much about me as she portrayed herself to, and that, in light of her past, she may simply be a "player"...although I know you can't pass judgment on someone you haven't evaluated, and you aren't a psychiatrist, but what is going on with this situation? We were discussing marriage as little as six weeks ago, and had bought furniture, and had began making concrete plans...but she seemingly deliberately torpedoed it all with her actions...is there any chance she may began to miss me later, and want to reconcile? I love her, and always felt she loved me, seemed deeply in love with me as others often noted when seeing us together, even if there were some trust issues present...We just seemed to have unbelievable chemistry in every conceivable way...I don't mean to belabor this with you, but you have been very helpful thus far, and I am just having difficulty with it...as you can probably tell, I send things at night when I am at work and on lunch or break...night shift just seems to lend itself to getting things like this on your mind and dwelling on it...any help you can offer, or advice further, is greatly appreciated...thanks again...
I don't know if she is a 'player', however I do believe she is struggling to commit to anyone- her past also indicates this, and also the types of relationships she's had also highlight that she could have possibly been in relationships for the shock value - all of which are about pushing other people away. (The Christian dating the Islamic man etc..).
One last thing, and then please close the question, and I am prepared to begin taking your advice fully: the above were pasted from your response: can you please explain the statement, and also what does the last part indicate; the shock value of certain relationships and pushing people away, because she and I argued long and hard about this one particular issue, which she seemed almost proud of (dating the Islamic man)and which she seemed to keep secretive for some reason, and she always showered superlatives on the man, even knowing how I personally felt about the issue of differing religions, especially Islam since 9-11, although I try to not be prejeduiced toward anyone...thanks again and best of luck...Mitchell