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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1825
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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If a long time friend suddenly lies to you, does it mean the

Resolved Question:

If a long time friend suddenly lies to you, does it mean the relationship
has changed enough to no longer be friends? Say they never lied to you
in the past, but told you something that you found out later was not
true? I am asking about this: someone says they don't use the
computer at home and ask the person they live with about it, then you
find out they do use the computer from the other person, things like
that.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.

Deardebra : I feel there is a reason why they felt they needed to tell a lie.
Deardebra : It is wrong to lie to someone specially a friend, but maybe it was something they didn't want to talk about.
Deardebra : TheSome times people change the subject or just do not answer the truth if they do not want to talk about it.Was
Deardebra : It changes the friendship in a way where someone might question if the person is telling the truth.If
Deardebra : The person did in fact tell a lie and they know they did then they now have to earn their friends trust back.
Deardebra : But first the person should confront the person about not telling the truth.
Deardebra : The person should come right out and ask why they didn't want that person to know about that they use the computer.
Deardebra : Explain that in this friendship we always were honest with each other.
Deardebra : That there is no reason to not tell the truth. Explain that friends are their for each other.
Deardebra : IInstead of not telling the truth The person would have been better not answering the question instead of telling a lie.
Deardebra : There is no reason to lie to a friend.They should have told the truth but they need to know that the know that the person knows they lied.
Deardebra : This way they will never lie again because the person confronted the issue.
Deardebra : Then the friendship can move forward in a positive way because this were resolved with one another.
Customer:

So if the person does those things then that person may stay friends.

Deardebra : Yes, I think they should still remain friends.
Deardebra : They might also misunderstood what they were being asked as well. I would confront the issue this way the person will know that they should always tell the truth.
Customer:

So the lying itself does not end the friendship, right? Also, the asking about why they did

Customer:

not want someone to know is not like saying "I know you use the computer"....and asking

Customer:

why they lied.Those are two very different things even though they seem almost

Customer:

the same. I assume that is the best way to deal with this. Can you tell what to

Customer:

expect and does the person being lied to have a handicap with respect to

Customer:

friendship in general if they did not know how to handle the situation and

Customer:

had to ask for advice? By that I mean the person who was lied to by the

Customer:

other person in the question. I can also ask this as a different question if

Customer:

this has been too long or different, meaning I can finish this and ask it

Customer:

as a different question on Just Answer.

Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1825
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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