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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  Experienced in counseling all age persons on relationship issues.
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I havent seen my now ex-girlfriend since the morning after

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I haven't seen my now ex-girlfriend since the morning after Valentine's Day. We were on the breakup/makeup cycle for a long time, so I decided it was a great (regretting now) idea to write a cold, ruthless email that ended the cycle.

We spoke tonight after 5 weeks. She said to leave her the f*ck alone and that I'm dead to her. I've felt so guilty for what I did and I'm not surprised about her reaction obviously. I want to be friends with her someday, though. I just feel awful, but is it possible to salvage a friendship months from now? What steps should I take and how long into the future should I begin to initiate contact again, if I even should? I pray she forgives me at some point.
It is possible to salvage the friendship.

You should write her a long-hand note now and put it in a "thinking of you " card which you mail to her (much more personal and shows your willing to take the time). In the note, just repeat what you say here. for instance,

"I regret writing that cold, ruthless email and I am sorry. I am not surprised by your reaction and understand. I would like to be friends someday but know that you need space. I will call you in about one month and am hoping you will have coffee with me (or other brief, non-threatening encounter in a public place)."

I hope this helps.....
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