Thank you for your reply. I do really want to start taking those small steps as you say. One of the challenges at the moment is that my job is quite bizarre hours, so I never finish before half past 6 and normally finish at 8pm which means that I miss out on social groups etc:
and would love to do some volunteering of some kind but again it is the time commitment.
Well a tiny goal that I have sort of set myself is to do some baking for easter - to make a cake or something. And I suppose to do something like that as a hobby would be quite nice.
:) yeah i would quite like to do that.
Yeah that is the problem. I think my heart just isn't in anything enough at the moment. I flit from idea to idea. Maybe I have just lost confidence in my ability to follow through. I know what I should do, it's just making myself do it.
I think you're right, my new job is quite stressful and there is a lot to learn so by the weekend, I am ready to rest.. I think the loneliness contributes as well - I don't really feel that I have any really close friends I can call up and speak to on the phone. I do have one or two, but I suppose life just kind of fragments everything the old you get and then it is difficult to reach out to people when you feel so down.
:) thank you. I think that you are right and I do know that it will get better. I just seem to have been caught up in this spiral for far too long, long before I moved up here to be honest. I spent so much time under other people's wing and in their shadow and people keep saying ' be courageous' and they always say 'Oh why do women just stay in these bad relationships' but then when you do the courageous thing and try and exist on your own, it's like there is no rule-book about how to fill up that massive space in your life. That is how it feels to me anyway.
Yeah and it seems like everyone else thinks relationships are the be-all and end all and for me, they're not. Like I enjoyed the closeness but there were so many bad things that for me now I am pretty suspicious of motives of men with me.
thank you for that and yes I mean I am really trying. Moving up here was quite a big step but it has just left me a bit lonely now. I a, hoping it is temporary and will pick up soon
Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. What you have said is really helpful, so thank you.