That's fine. I don't expect you to drop everything for me.
This is what I have so far but I'm not really saying what I'd like too but I don't want to scare him or make him angry again.
I feel like I may owe you an explanation and I’m not good at this so here goes….
You may not remember (and I’m not really wanting to bring it back up) but that’s where my explanation starts. Since you got so angry with me and told me that I could say “hi” but not speak, I have tried very hard to leave you alone and not bother you because I thought that’s what you wanted me to do. (And, please, let me apologize again….Things were very bad in my life and I was scared what was going to happen to me and although there are no excuses, there are reasons I acted like that back then. I’m sorry….I look back and see how things got away from me but at that time, I didn’t.) I’ll admit that because I felt so bad for what I’d done that I couldn’t even look at you for awhile but I’d like you to know that I haven’t been trying to ignore you or be mean in any way. I really thought I was doing what you told me to do. What I’m trying to say is that if you’ve changed your mind and it’s okay to come around, I’d like that.
I just don't want to give him a note if I'm wrong about what I see and he's just watching and that's all he's doing and wants to do. I feel like if I don't do anything, I'll regret it and it's important to me that he's not a regret. I don't expect him to say/do anything after the note, but I need him to know that I haven't been rejecting him all this time but only doing what I thought he wanted. And I, in no way, want him to feel bad/get angry (again) over what was said back then....it's just where the story started. Any suggestions, are welcome. Thanks.
I didn't want to push for anything from him because he's shy but he's also a man and knows what he does/doesn't want and I didn't want to reveal what I feel but I needed him to know why I've acted as I have hoping he'll see that that's not how I wanted to be. Does it sound like I'm blaming him for my behavior because I'm not? I take people literally and in his anger, the words were harsh and I have done want he asked and worked hard not to feel his anger again. I was going to leave it on his truck tonight but it's so windy out I'm wondering if I should ask a lady that works there during the day to drop it on his desk in an envelope when he's not there.
Not being there during the day, I can't drop it off. I don't want it on his email at work in case that would get him in trouble or make him mad. I've helped the lady so much with listening to her problems I really think she would do it. I just didn't want to get another person involved. I'll get it to him somehow. If he gets mad, then he's not for me because I don't think there's anything about the note to upset him other than it came from me and that's why I'm not expecting anything and know that although it will hurt awhile, I can look back and know that I left no misunderstanding between us and for whatever reason, it just wasn't meant to be. But at least it wasn't because I was too afraid to try. Thanks so much for your help and for being there to listen to me.