How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Paige Your Own Question

Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1354
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr. Paige is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Does it sound to you like he is over me? He told me later on

Resolved Question:

Does it sound to you like he is over me? He told me later on that he would always love me. Because of the way this situation occurred and the fact that he was kind of hiding this girl from his friends, I feel like this was supposed to be a casual hookup style relationship but he got busted and I called him out on it so now he is telling people about seeing this girl. Do you think this is a rebound? Do you think a person could get over such strong feelings for someone so easily. I still love him and am just trying to figure out whether his feelings for me are done. I would love to talk with him about this but he says things in the direction if us being over but then reacts so strongly to anything indicating that I am with anyone. I also don't understand why so many pictures of us are still in Facebook even after I defriended him. He still has not put anything up in it regarding her at all or him being in a relationship. Could this girl really be ok with that? He was always very public about our relationship like he wanted everyone to know, but his handling of this situation with this girl.... I don't understand. Any insight into this? Thank you!!
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 1 year ago.
I do think it could certainly be a rebound situation with him. He sounds like he has a little bit of a control issue as well if he has a problem with you seeing someone, but yet he can do what he wants to do.
If you cannot have a normal conversation with him about anything either, this is not a good sign. I think he has a lot of personal issues that he really needs to work out before he can be in a healthy relationship at all, on any level. You didn't go into a lot of detail in your last question as to the reason for your break up other than he held things in and you wanted to talk. Again, this comes down to major communication problems, which sound like they are continuing into your friendship. While I understand you wanting to be with him, I do think that if you do end up getting back together, that you will end up right back where you are until you both change some things as far as the communication issues. I think the fact that he can't even talk to you now about things should be a red flag to you. Depending on how strongly you feel about him, I would keep trying to pursue this conversation with him. Try to sort out your feelings properly, and even do it on paper if you can. Writing things down, makes some things which seem one way, look another when you see it in black and white. It's difficult when you see him all the time because of your work situation, but I would try and separate myself from him as much as you possibly can as well. Space is also a good tool to sort out your feelings too. Again, I know this is difficult.
While I never want to say things are over for good, I just want YOU to decide if this is really the best relationship for you to be in. At least before he addresses some things and there are some adjustments made.
I do think that people can get involved in a physical relationship only with someone. It sounds as though he is not serious with this other person, just looking for some fun and to fill a void he has.
He has some personal baggage that he is trying to deal with in this way. If he is in denial about confronting his own feelings about any type of day to day things, this is just his way of acting out on those feelings that he represses.
I would try not to worry so much about his actions with this other girl as far as public displays. If she is going through a divorce, there may be a lot of factors going on which only they know about. She may be ok with this as she does not want people to know either. The whole thing may be at her request too, there is no way to know for sure. It really doesn't matter about any of that. You just have to get to be able to talk to him and that is the botXXXXX XXXXXne. If he continues to act irrationally about talking to you or about your own actions with other people, I urge you to seriously look at this as not being a very good person for you to be with over all, as things won't change unless he is willing to make that choice.
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1354
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Dr. Paige and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency