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TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5763
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Me and my girlfriend broke up about 4.5 months ago and I still

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Me and my girlfriend broke up about 4.5 months ago and I still have strong feelings for her. She has admitted seeing another guy and thinking about moving in with him. We talk a little but I noticed that I usually initiate the conversations and meet ups when we see each other. She still tells me she loves me but does not want to break it off with the other guy. Should I just give up on trying to get her back?
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like she has decided to try a relationship with someone else, but that does not mean you have to give up. People often feel that the grass is greener on the other side and this may be what your girlfriend is feeling. However, she may find it is not true.

Since you initiate most of the contact, then you may want to back off a little. Right now, she still has you totally interested and she may not feel any urgency to reconnect to you since you are both already very connected. You may also want to keep in mind that she is has the best of both worlds, you and her new boyfriend. She doesn't need to make any effort. But if you back off then she may notice what she is missing.

Also, she hasn't told you to stop contacting her. If she was so happy with the new boyfriend, she would cut all ties with you and focus on him. So it sounds like there is still some interest there in having you in her life.

Continue to stay in touch but only contact her twice a month or so. Just say hi and leave your message very simple. Also, keep it neutral. Don't try to impress her (though it is tempting) and just treat her like a friend. And if she wants to know about you, let her find out from your friends. That way, you will know what she feels.

I hope this has helped you,

May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
TherapistMaryAnn and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you so much for the positive rating and bonus! I appreciate it.

My best to you,

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