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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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My co-worker left our company last week to move back home where

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My co-worker left our company last week to move back home where he will be taking over his family business and spending more time with family - particularly his dad who has leukemia. This is a big move for him because he's lived here for five years and this will be a new chapter in his life. He threw a going away party last weekend (e-vites included) and invited me. Granted, we're not super close, just friendly co-workers. I thought about going, but I've had a lot on my mind recently and I honestly completely forgot about it. I wouldn't have thought about it again except this week at work I learned that not a lot of people showed up. I feel awful about it. I want him to know that I'm sorry for not going but I don't know if it's worse for him to hear that I forgot about it or if I make up an excuse --- or do nothing at all? If I do say I'm sorry, should I e-mail or text? (We don't normally text or e-mail at all, though.)

Deardebra :

I would tell him face to face that you have had so much on your mind and you were unable to make it. I am sure he will understand. You do not want him to wonder why you did not show up. But you do not have to tell him you forgot. You want to simple tell him that you have a lot on your mind.

Deardebra :

He will understand because he as well has a lot going on in his life as well.


He already moved, actually. What if I can't tell him to his face?

Deardebra :

I feel that you should send him an e-mail and explain why you were not there at the party. But also ask him how he is doing settling in. It would be nice for you just to check in to see how he is doing so he knows he has support through this huge change in his life.


Great - thank you!

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