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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I found out today that the man that I have been in love with

Customer Question

I found out today that the man that I have been in love with for over two and a half years is not divorced, but legally separated. I found out by accident when he sent a text to his wife about signing divorce papers. All this time I thought he was divorced, but now to find out that he is separated has really made me very upset. He knows that I am upset and actually speechless! And I am!! We are suppose to start a new chapter in our relationship where we are going to move in with one another. I am upset, confused, hurt, feel somewhat belittled and betrayed. Do you think I am wrong for feeling this way?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

I can understand that you are shocked about the legal status. If he covered this up he might have done it so as not to lose you. It is not as if he has another woman or that he is not trying to complete his divorce.

It seems that you two will wind up together.

Give yourself a little break to catch your breath, and then talk about it calmly.

This was not something done to hurt you. You are not wrong for feeling this way, but I think that you can work this out. I think this is very solvable and you should do exactly that: fix the situation. Tell him how you feel.

Refrain from anger. He will see your pain and you two will make it right.

He had an error of judgment but not bad intentions, I believe. So, forgive and move on and grow STRONGER from this.

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,


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