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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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I still have strong feelings for my ex-boyfriend. I hadnt

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I still have strong feelings for my ex-boyfriend. I hadn't communicated with him for four years (since we broke up - it wasn't a bad break up, it was just too hard because we were very serious) until he moved to the same city I live in and asked me to get a drink and catch up. We did and now I can't stop thinking about him. During our conversation we did reveal that he had just gotten out of a serious relationship and didn't seem to be in a place where he would be able to talk about us, but I do want to see him again. I just can't decide if it's the best idea given the way I feel about him and where he is emotionally. Half of me says I should move on with my life, but there's a big half that still thinks about the "What if?". Any advice would be very appreciated!
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.
Right now he is in the healing process of getting out of a serious relationship. He is taking that time to heal and feels it is not fair to start a relationship with someone else because he feels he is not ready. But I feel over time and him in the healing process he will be able to move on. Now one thing I feel strong about is if you stay and see each other, he will develop feelings for you because you both already have a connection. As he heals he will begin to see that you are there for him when he was struggling with a break up. If you are there for him, he will see how much you car about him and once he gets his mind off of the break up he will realize you and him are meant to be together. You want to see him again and I feel you should. I think you both should begin to share your life together, this way he will get comfortable with you being there for him. This could be a start of an amazing relationship. Some times people after a break up think they can't move on they are not ready, but if he realizes that you are the one, then his heart will heal. You really care about him and I feel he needs someone in his life right now. Feelings will keep developing the more you both are together. He will get use to you being in his life. I think you should get in tough with him, and set up another time to see each other. I am sure he would love to see you again.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1816
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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