I will continue to wait.
I will try to help you the best I can. I am sorry you are having these issues with your fiance. The two things that really concern me about what you wrote are: Number one: that you feel he needs to change for you; and number two: that you have let a lot of things go that bother you about him. Both of these are big red flags for me. First of all, it is almost impossible to expect someone to change for US. If he makes any changes, it has to be because HE wants to. He may not see or realize what he is doing to you and your relationhip which leads me to number two. If you do not tell him how you are feeling about things then he does not know you are bothered and hence thinks things are OK. If you feel that the two of you are unable to talk about these things together without ending up in a huge argument then perhaps seeing a counsleor would be wise. You are not married yet and having these issues now. Makes me concerned about once you ARE married. I would highly encourage that you gets these issues resolved now. Thoughts?.........
Its not that I want to change him but he promised me a lot of things when we got engaged and he had realized how he wasnt respecting me in the past and how he put things 1st before our relationship of 6 years. I had feared moving in with him would make him go back into being the selfish and mean person he turned out to be and he has. I feel like if maybe I let go of some issues I have with him , he will see me as the person I was when we 1st met.
According to him there shouldnt be any drama in a relationship, I have explained that its impossible but there are ways to communicate issues the right way. So I am trying to be the one not to cause the drama so that he is at peace and maybe change he ways toward me.
Plus in the past we had issues with social networking sites like Facebook, and vowed to close the aacount because he would post flirty remarks on other womens pages. He clearly admitted it was wrong and he didnt want FB to come between us. Now I am having the same issue because 8 months ago he reopened it and is contuining to do the same thing. I dont want to bring it up because I shouldnt be snooping but he gave me his password XXXXX he didnt want me to think was going on behaind my back. But Im sorry Men are dumb and he probably thinks I cant see all the comments he makes but I can and its disturbing but I dont want to bring it up and push him away. Should I also bring up a comment he posted today or let it go?
OK so I still go back to my thoughts I mentioned previously. If your moving in with him has caused him to go back to the way he was which you were not happy with, that should most definitely be a red flag for you. I am not trying to persuade you in any way but I am concerned for your happiness now and in the future. It will do you or him no good in the long run to brush aside feelings now that you fear may cause your relationship to end, but by not dealing with these issues now you are only setting up the relationship for failure at some point. The fact that he is back posting things on Facebook after he told you he would close his account to keep it from coming between the two of you should concern you as well. Not sure what more I can offer at this point.
Let me know your thoughts. I just want the best for you and your long term happiness. Thank you
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX I have known this all along, becuase Why should I have to brush my feelings aside to save a relationship in witch the other isnt willing to save. Thank you so much for your support witch i really needed.