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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I really dont want to break up with my long distance boyfriend.

Customer Question

I really don't want to break up with my long distance boyfriend. We've had so many fights and mistakes in the past school year away from each other that a lot of people don't understand why we're still together. I'm sure if either of us did not love the other that this would have been over a long time ago. He's committed to moving back to where I live after this semester so we can work it out. But with no ones support it's hard to keep faith. We have not only a lot of history, but very important history behind us and I am not attracted to anyone but him.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: No answer yet.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear Anne,

I see that nobody else has picked up on your question. You have worded it very differently this time and have shone new light upon your situation.

He will be back in about 3 months or less, I imagine. You paint a clearer picture in this question than you did earlier. You demonstrate a maturity and commitment that was not apparent before and I believe that your love for each other, despite what others may say, is a tremendous force.

If you can stay positive in your communications, remembering that there cannot be fights if you can restrain your own instincts to answer back, to get angry, to say things that will cause damage, then you can hold on long enough to work this out, face to face.

Your approach in this letter has shown me that you have substance and maturity to pull this off. Love can conquer all, but it is not an endeavor for the weak or the impatient.

If he has your level of commitment and is willing to hold on for the next short while, and if you both agree to treat each other with kindness and avoid all disputes and harshness between you, then you will make it where you can resume toe face to face and frequent contact that goes beyond the virtually reality of email, phone and skype.

I do feel a lot more positive about your chances now that you have revealed yourself more clearly, and I shall continue to hold you in my prayers for success.

Warm regards,

Elliott

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