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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Ive been in a long distance relationship for over six months,

Customer Question

I've been in a long distance relationship for over six months, my freshman year of college, with my high school boyfriend. We've had so many problems, but neither of us want to break up. We're always worried the other is drifting away, or has different feelings than we had before. My boyfriend says he's moving back home, where I stayed for college, after this semester but I'm constantly hearing about him having such a good time with his college friends that I have extreme anxiety of him leaving me alone again.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

It is very hard for a young woman just entering adulthood to understand that at this age, most relationships do not last because we are all changing rapidly. We feel secure in a relationship that we have had, but it seems that your needs to hold on to him are much greater than his needs to hold on to you

He is having a great life and you are out of sight and out of mind in many ways.

A long distance relationship is putting your life on hold in many ways. You are tied up with a commitment that you cannot fulfill in a satisfying manner.

It is a difficult place for you. You cannot get satisfaction either way.

I urge you to remain friends but get out more into the world and start becoming who you are destined to be. If the love is so strong, you will keep the bond but not by self-imposed rules that keep you locked into a relationship, especially when you feel all alone and he is out having a great time.

You need to be out too. Don't fall into the trap of depression. Get out with your friends and have some fun and try to live your life and have fun now. If you don't you will become less attractive to him because you will me moping so much.

Go out with friends, go to party, and if you like someone, go out on a date.

You cannot change your circumstances and it seems that your friend may be drifting away from you.

At your stage of life, most relationships drift apart but are replaced by newer and often better ones where the conditions (being close by, having other things in common) are better, and are not obstacles.

Don't be afraid of change. This is the way be grow and mature and learn wisdom. Growing up never stops and always has pains, but the rewards go with them.

You may very well end up with this young man but you cannot make that happen by being afraid and staying in a state of loneliness.

I wish you courage and strength, and shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.

Thank you and may God bless you and bring joy to your life.

 

 

Elliott

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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.