Have you tried to talk to her about this and tell her what you are telling me? Even though you are not sure if this would work, this would be the first place to start.
You must have her answer the question - why would she write this and leave me hanging - because you don't know.
i mean she responded and agreed we need to talk and i told her it could be informal but its been hard keeping in contact with her
The other question is - I guess, based on past experience - are you willing to wait 5 months for the answer? Or, are you just distorting the time frame she will respond to you?
Why has the contact been difficult? This is what is needed.
There are many ways to talk nowadays - phone, email, in person. In person is the best, XXXXX XXXXX not, there are so many options.
she told me that it had been years since she cared about anyone the way she cares about me, and that i drive her crazy and i agreed that she drove me crazy and then i invited her over for dinner and told her i wanted to try and makes this work and she seemed conflicted but told me to find someone else and that she wouldnt see me again...that was in june
She has to answer these questions you ask, but communication is a priority.
and i have been trying to move on in my life, and she comes back and tells me she loves me and wants to move forward with our future...and i understand that communication is important but she is so avoidant
Well, can you follow up? That is some time ago. So you don't think she was clear about her feelings?
Well, then perhaps you need to decide if you want to pursue a relationship with a person who is avoidant if this is her pattern
Also, she states one time that the relationship is over and the next that she wants to move forward. This seems quite odd since these statements are at two ends of the spectrum. Perhaps you should clarify this. Hope this helps.
idk when we are together, its overwhelming..everything about us together already points to us working on something but i think she has this crippling fear that things are going to end badly, and i mentioned how i dont enjoy the non dealing part of things with my family and implied that things just dont go away so by avoiding
And then what was the response? Is the fear irrational and not founded? I would explore this.
she didnt really respond, she seemed like the question hit home..and didnt know what to say. I mean i know she has been hurt before and i have left in the past because she was so unclear of what she wanted ,and i know her ex left her for someone else so i feel like now she's hyper sensitive to people abandoning her..and that its easier to not get attached