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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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I met a man through his job and we got chatting. Everytime

Resolved Question:

I met a man through his job and we got chatting. Everytime I am in his place of work he says hello, on one occassion he blushed really badly when he first seen me. This morning I said hello and moved to go on about my business but yesterday he seen me whilst out on his lunch and pretended not to see me. This morning he was chatting away about his best friend and going to see them in Edinburgh. What is going on?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.

Deardebra : It sounds like he likes you, but gets nervous around you because he has feelings for you.
Deardebra : I feel he at times doesnt know what to say and he blushes because he get flustered around you.
Deardebra : He has feelings for you.
Deardebra : He was chattig about his best friend because he foinf something he could share and talk too you about.
Deardebra : He is getting more comfortale aroubd you and he is sharing his life with you.
Deardebra : That is a good sign.
Deardebra : He wants you as well to share your life as well with him by sharing stories.

I had to complain about some of his staff to his boss and wrote a letter to their head office but I praised him in this letter. I sent him a copy of the letter as it included comments about him. Could it be he just doesn't like me? He did tell me he is single and that he has a scare on his arm which apparently 'girls like'?

Deardebra : He sounds lije he might be shy, so there will be times he will talk and other times he will not know what to say.

So what do I do? I really find him very attractive

Deardebra : This is when you need to talk about something in your life. He is trying to get to know you. That is why he is sharing stories with yiu.
Deardebra : I feel he is trying to figure out if you like him or not.
Deardebra : The minute he said he was single that was him letting you know he was avsilable.
Deardebra : people tell people that to see if someone lij
Deardebra : *likes
Deardebra : Them.
Deardebra : I am sure he wanted you to say do you want to go out some time.
Deardebra : Him saying he is single is basically saying he likes you.
Deardebra : But he doesnt want to ask you out because he doesnt want to be embarressed if you said no.
Deardebra : Because he is shy you are going to have to ask him.
Deardebra : You could tell him your single,you could ask him to grab a cup of coffee.
Deardebra : Hes not going to ssy no, it sounds too me like he gets excited to see you.
Deardebra : The letter you

I told him today that he owes me a coffee? I can't be anymore direct than that now can?

Deardebra : Wrote was good because you showed him that you notuced what a good job he does. You want to be more direct and tell him a date and time gor coffee. He might think your just kidding. I think he needs to be told exactly.

I live in England, I am from Northern Ireland as is his best friend and his Dad is also Irish. If I asked him out that directly I would either get arrested for stalking or be labelled a wanton woman.

Deardebra : Ok,so you to drop hints and wait for him to ask you out.
Deardebra : I think he wants to get to know you better and might be nervous to ask you out, so I feel he is going to take his time.
Deardebra : The blushing shows me he is shy.
Deardebra : I want you to trying saying this, you mentioned you were single. Then say I am surprise a nicr gu
Deardebra : *nice
Deardebra : Guy like you is single. Then you want to say, im sinlge too im looking for the right person.
Deardebra : This way this will give him a sign your interested.
Deardebra : I really think he is unsure how you feel
Deardebra : About him.

Yesterday I had to walk through the business this chap works for to get to the train station. I have a very distinctive northern Irish accent and I said 'good morning Ruth, how are you?' as I walked past one of his employees. This, believe it or believe it not is considered quite strange behaviour in England, being friendly is. Then I walked passed him, he was quite a bit away and speaking to a collegue but he didn't even turn to look at me but I though you know what I am going to be polite and said 'good morning', he said, 'good morning back without even looking at me.


Then, I went for my hospital appointment and a guy there gives me a small bouquet and asks me out. I am not interested but to get home I walked through this guy's store and he had to walk straight past me, see's the flowers and had a big smile for me. You sure he is interested in me or just relieved there is someone else on the scene and he has to polite to a customer? Yes I know your not The Lord or a mind reader.

Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.
Getting flowers from someone was such a nice gesture and this will give you an idea how someone else is thinking the same things as you right now. You are wondering if he likes you and the guy tat gas you flowers took a risk and decided to give you flowers and ask you out. But you are not interested because you like someone else. But it was good he put his feelings out there to see if you wanted to date him. But there could be many reasons why he smiled at you. He might have smiled in a way that he wanted to appear happy for you, but inside he was upset, but he didn't want to take away your moment. I bet right now he is worried that you are going to go on a date with the guy that gave you flowers. He figures that he is a romantic guy and he is shy, so he might not have a chance. You mentioned about him saying good morning without looking at you this is only because he was busy. I think he stays focused on what he is doing at that moment. Here is what I want you to do. I want you to tell him the guy gave you flowers such a nice gesture but that you are interested in someone else. Then drop a hint that it is him. This way he will know you are not interested in no one else.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I have no idea what is going on this site today because I got no notification that you had answered. I have already told the guy who gave me the flowers thanks but no thanks and the guy who I like and smiled at me today completely ignored me again!

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.
It sounds like he is nervous to take that next step. There might be a small problem now thinking that you like the guy that gave you the flowers, so you want to tell him that the flowers were such a nice gesture, but you just do not have those kind of feelings for him. Explain that you do not like having to turn him down since he took such a huge risk. But it is ok to ask someone out because if you don't you just will never know what could have been. I think the type of guy you are dealing with is someone that stays focus on his job. Even though he is ignoring you I feel it is not done on purpose. I feel he only can focus on one thing at a time.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.
You welcome

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