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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 742
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
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we went for lunch 2 days ago and ended up being in each others

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we went for lunch 2 days ago and ended up being in each others company for six a fool i let out a bout of emotion then apologised and told her that in making myself a better person and sorting out my issues some of my feelings had surfaced. she said to me that i didnt need to say sorry and i could talk to her about anything .she also said she was sorting out her mental issues too and made a point of telling me thatv she was completely over her first husband.she couldnt say if we who become lovers again but said she may come looking for me in the future but not if i had another girlfriend.during dinner she laughed so much it was like that when the relationship was good....the last thing she said to me was we were both evolving....what does this all mean???
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 2 years ago.
Hi again,

Your interaction sounds positive, actually, in spite of the fact that it's also a bit confusing because of the way she's said certain things. First, I think it's good that you took a risk and opened up the lines of communication with her regarding your emotions, because it seems like she felt comfortable returning the favor by letting you know that she's also trying to work on herself, and that she's over her first husband, etc. It basically sounds like she doesn't want to commit to anything right now (maybe because she's still sorting things out and needs a little more time), but she wants to keep the possibility of reuniting with you in the future open - at some point, but it's obviously not clear how long that's going to take, if at all. I'm not completely sure it's fair that she put the caveat on about "not if you have a girlfriend", because then it's almost like she wants to have her cake and eat it too by making sure that you don't really move on, if you want to. So she's trying to keep you around - and maybe that's what you want at this point? If so, I think what's most important right now is to keep things on this note, in terms of having fun and laughing and not making things so serious. Like you said, when you were together it was like it was when the relationship was good, so you want to try to keep that feeling going as much as possible. Try to avoid the meaty "relationship" talk right now and just let her see that she can enjoy just being with you (if you feel comfortable with this, of course.) Overall, it does sound like things went very well, so just try to keep things on a high note. Good luck!
Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 742
Experience: Specializing in relationship/family counseling
Alicia_MSW and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi again,

Basically i dont seem any better off 2 weeks after my last letter to you

I have seriously been thinking about going no contact as I have tried everything else..also i just remembered something...just before christmas she mention a guy online was hitting on gut feeling is telling me she may have dumped me to meet him in real life and that would explain her behaviour and the fact that she ended things with me so abruptly.

Do you think after 7 weeks of being just friends is too late to start no contact? maybe if she missed me it might make her want me more?

Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 2 years ago.
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