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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Hi, its been 2 years that my ex boyfriend and i have been apart.

Resolved Question:

Hi, its been 2 years that my ex boyfriend and i have been apart. When he broke up with me, i felt like he didnt give me an explanation.

After 2 years, i met other guys and had other ex's but he's the one that had a big impact on me, we had the strong connection. I still want to talk to him time to time but at the same time im affraid to hurt again because.

That will reminds me of the bad memories. I dont wanna digg into the past but sometimes i feel stuck like right now.. I met other guys but i think that a part of me dont understand why he never ever called me. I felt like i was important for him, i know we both made mistakes but i cant believe he moved on like that. Once i called him and he was so rude to me and tried to making me feel bad, he barggain about his girlfriend too.

I saw him last time and he was looking at me... i felt like he misses me because he was staring at me a lot... I dont wanna talk to him even if i want to sometimes, its complicated, all i wanna do is move on without talking to him... but at the same time i cant help my self being jealous because he's with another girl 3 years younger than me. I comparate myself a lot, i dont have confidence in myself anymore. I feel like he's happy and im the one hurting. I dont know if i will ever understand.

Plus... i feel empty because he dont talk to me and doesnt give me attention because i though that i was important before and i cant get that old picture of my minde. Im confuse.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

You are living with mixed feeling and you must do someething about it.

The next time you see him, talk to him, or even ask him out for a cup of coffee or something like that. If she says yes, then see what happens.

If he says no, then resolve that it is done and close that chapter of your life forever.,

You have no choice. That is the way to find closure and move on.

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi thank you for you answer,

 

I dont see him anymore, thats the problem,

 

I want to send him an email but just thinking about it make me feeling stressed.

 

The last time i tried, his girlfriend was around and he wasnt answering my answers the right way, he was playing at childish game and he tried to make me feel jealous.

 

Im kinda traumatized about his behavior,

 

Youre right, i have to talk about it to close that chapter, i just hope he will not let me down and start assumings stupid things.

 

I want to send him an email but its really hard to find the courage.

 

Like i dont wanna know anything about his life... to protect myself.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear May,

Righ after you read this (and give me a good rating, of course) send him a message. Ask him whatever you want. Ask him if he is done with you. The worst he can do is say yes, and then the chapter will be closed.

Do it now while you have the momentum and encouragement from a professional who is looking out for your best interest.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I will do it im just affraid that he will think that i didnt forget him, cuz its been almost 2 year that we didnt talk and he has his girlfriend.

 

I also have a lot of questions.. it didnt finished on good terms either so im affraid.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear May,

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself".

You have nothing to lose -

Except, this old memory that keeps hanging on.

It won't hurt you and it will be done, whatever his response, including ignoring you.

Be strong and move on with your life.

You will be one step ahead as soon as you do this.

God bless.

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

You're so right but if he ignores me


or that my question goes in his ''junk''


ill be sad.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear May,

You are already sad. If you get no response, then just move on. Its two years already and it is time that you move on with your life. Focusing endlessly on the past and on something that failed is very unhealthy and you must put a stop to it.

There is an old behavioral trick to break this bad habit.

Put a rubber band around your wrist. I big strong one.

Everytime you think of him, snap it hard. If you look at the rubber band and think of him, snap it hard.

The thought of him will soon be related to something negative and you will stop.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Ive already send the email but i think he will received it in his junk mails.


Im affraid if i send it on his facebook inbox cuz if its the case, im affraid he will show it to everybody.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I know that if i call him... it will be awkward..


I send him an email but i dont know if he will see it


and the last thing will be facebook.. i just dont know if i should send him a letter on fb.. thats the problem. I really appreciate your help (: Thank you so much!!

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi there, i just sent the message to my ex, i feel stressed out, is it normal. I really wish we can talk about it, thats what i ask him... or i will not be able to move on. Im affraid he will not respond.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you, I feel sick right now, my head hurts and I feel anxious. I feeel like there's a lot I wish I could have said to him but I need to get this out.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
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