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Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Professional therapist
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how do I differ paraoid thoughts from gut feelings about c

Customer Question

how do I differ paraoid thoughts from gut feelings about cheating?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your question.

A lot depends on whether or not things have actually happened that would justify a gut feeling about cheating. If there are not any signs of cheating, and if you have no reason to otherwise believe that someone is cheating, then the thoughts would usually be due to paranoia. A lot of things can contribute to paranoid thoughts, and if you've been hurt in the past or cheated on previously, it's always possible to start having that gut feeling even if nothing is going on.

That's why the best way to differentiate is to try and determine whether or not circumstances have occurred that would justify that paranoia or that gut feeling. If you have started to see some signs that cheating may be occuring, then it may certainly be important to listen to your gut. Let me know if that makes sense, and if there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.

Ryan
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Professional therapist
Ryan LCSW and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

are there anything significant or typical for thoughts that are of the paranoid sort?


Because hurt in the past, sure -never cheating though, circumstances around him sure- he meet his ex every sunday and has done for 3 years and she does not want to meet me even if they are only firends. I guess this is a hard question to answer.

Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.
Paranoid thoughts are usually rooted in some sort of irrational fear. So for example, if this was a man who has never given you any reason to believe that he would cheat on you, but you still have this fear, that would tend to be considered paranoia.

I can understand why him meeting with his ex every Sunday for 3 years would make you a bit nervous, although I suppose that a lot depends on the reason why he is in contact with her so frequently. Despite the fact that she doesn't want to meet you, he can only control himself so that wouldn't automatically indicate that there is a problem. As long as there is a reasonable explanation for them to see each other, there may not necessarily be any reason to be concerned if he has otherwise seemed trustworthy.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thanks I think it is clearer for me now. This is a neat service.

Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.
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