i have been in a relationship for 6 yrs ,shes been pulling away & i always try and put us back together, i cant stand the fack of loosing her. we are recently split up. she has a freind and they have been taking walks on the beach ,. i feel im loosing my mind thare is so much more.she wants her freedom & i want us back together
I would like to help
How long have you been together
Iam sorry I meant
How long have you been separated?
I understand how difficult it must be when someone is pulling away
It seems like you have been doing various things to try and save the relationship
What is her response to all of this and reasons as to why she is pulling away?
Is it this friend or other things as well prior to this friend?
I will await for you to come back online, so we can discuss in order for me to understand better in order to help you accurately.
seperated this time for a month or so
her responce is , i need my space and time . witch i have not been able to give for fear of loosing her
this freind ,she seems very interested in
r u thare
can you reply
i was hoping for some kind of reply
oh well thanks
i hope you reply cause i have to go to work soon
I apologize for not being online when you replied
If you are here now we can continue and if not then we can continue when it is best for you. I will be alerted when you are back online.
There needs to be a reason why she wants her space. It could be due to problems within the relationship or even problems within herself. Do you have an idea which it could be?
Whatever the case if she is saying she needs space and you are not giving it to her this will actually cause her to be pushed away giving you the opposite result of what you are wanting.
It is best that you do give her space. However, you can ask her if at all possible if you could still stay together taking things slowly.
I understand how it is difficult for you because you love her so much and have been together so long, but if this is what she is telling you them you would need to respect her wishes.
Overall you would need to respect her wishes or it will not go in the direction you are wanting.
It could be possible that it is not a problem in the relationship. It can be just that you both are wanting different things right now in your lives. It can be a very good relationship, but at the wrong timing. She may just want to not have a serious relationship any longer and I do understand this may be shocking an hurtful you would need to take care of yourself. Trying to get someone that does not want will only lead you to feel hurt, stress, and pain. You do not deserve to do this to yourself. You deserve to feel happy and be with someone who wants the same thing as you.
Now on the other hand if she is complaining about problems in the relationship then this is a little different. You would need to prove her change and let her know you are willing to work on all issues. This would take time for her to trust you and are actual change. Let her know you are willing to work through the issues
I hope this was helpful but please let me know if I can be of further help to you. A lot of this has to do with why she wants space to help you to determine if you have a chance. However, I gave two possible scenarios and your best bet in either is to give her what she is asking. Write her a letter saying it will be your last one, so she knows there will not be many more. This will give her the opportunity to dwell on everything to determine how to proceed. She may take it more serious knowing it is the last
This will serve as closure to you and also you would be able to perfect it
Then I would recommend you take care of yourself. Try doing things you may not have had time for. Start new activities and hobbies. This will help you cope with the pain, until in time it subsides
Also if she did change her mind you will be in a better place rather than a worse place is you let this eat you up inside. Therefore not only you will be helping yourself which is priority, but you will also be improving yourself for her. Then in the future if she did come back you can then reevaluate your situation to see if that is still something you are wanting.
I wish you all the best and I am here if you need.
i just stoped in my home for a few if i can i would like to speak late in eve
Sure no problem. I will switch this over to question and answer rather than chat that way you can read my replies as well as respond at your convince as it will be alerting both of us in our emails.
i just herd it from a freind that she is seeing some one else and i feel lonley & upset. but i know i have to go on,
i hope she comes back and i hope its for good
i hope she comes back and i hope its for good i hope you repl soon
thank you. unfortunally you were right ,she has told me in the past 2 yrs she needed her space,time. she meets people every day ( hairdresser ) but i quess for her she has met a specail one. shes angry & frustrated at me for my agrressive needs to communate.she wishes for no more talking ,u asked about issues. im a smoker & drink beer, she drinks sometimes but does not smoke. she said she cant love me the way she should or could. in the 6 yrs we drifted apart in the last 2 yrs but never argued of fought,my biggest prob was i wanted more of her,( time & love ) she couldnt give it. . as far as her new freind i believe,she may be happy. i feel i have severly dammaged our freindship /relationship. ? i relize im hurting inside but is thare a poss chance she will come back thanks
thank you please reply
she says she wants her own time & needs to find herself . she has never really been alonr, did her new freind give her the strenth to have us break up and or why is it she said she needes her time to figure herself out.? why is it she cant be alone by herself . ( she supposely just this outher 3 weeks ago.)
? who do i let go of all this stuff in my head and heart, so i can go on and get back to thinking reasonably.
how i i know that all the stuff im thinking is not true, why can i accept this and move on, what happens next , how do i get her back,once and for all, does she have any remorse.
its hard how do i get rid ou the thought i want to call tex or see her, how do you stop that
form what i told you is thare any chance for me and how long does it take.
i met with lisa this eve, she gave me back the engagement ring i bought her, and a letter sying thaks for a great time & all the love we sharded . she also said she did not make love to her freind and she wants no pressure or any commentments from any one,we were bouth hungry and agreeded to get something to eat., i todh her that i was working on making a better me , and also that i let her go, i was calm ,and not frling sad or scarded .she said she told her freinds and family about us and she needed her space ,. she wants to continue working on her book, ( light & joy ) she told me she & her freind are going to church tommarro,thats something she has never done in the last 6yrs i knew of her.she said she would like to to be freinds, and not to call her , she said she would call mesome day. well i quess thinks didnt work out for the best but i still have the hope & faith we may be able to get back together some day. does everyone go through this this bad, & im i going nuts , what do i do from hear.
was this just a coincidance, her wanting to break up at the same week she met her freind , or was it something that gave her the push.
do you really feel we have a chance of getting back together, ? how long should i wait ,how long do i have to wait,
i was awating your anwser.
lisa is writing a book since 1999,(light & joy ) today she changed her profile on face book , it says infinate light and joy. infinate is her freinds co name ( her freind is like a life coach, i asked lisa about this and she stated it was for bissness and a little personal . ? do you think i still should write a last letter as stated above.i was thinking about doing it now.
personally i dont want to loose my faith for us.
hope you can heal thanks
i just got anouther letter telling me to move on, yes her freind is helping her with her book.she told me she loves me as a freind.she says god is telling her to go on & do the things she is doing.she explanes she apreates me and i was a gift & she is opening up to all gods gifts now.she siad things are happining fast &but still in the right place for her,she is happy.she said she wants me to be happy & she has alot going on in her head right now . ect. ect.. me i feel num.? do you still believe i should send the last letter . please send your reply
well i sent her anouther letter. her reply is its over, she would like to be a freind,she wants her space &time .her new freind she states she likes very much, and she will continue seeing him.she told me not to contact her < but she will call me to ck on me..she does not want to give me false hope.
after al i told you , what would it be if we ever had the chance to get back and do you think she is somewhat selfesh. last will her new freind most likeley become her lover for long time
after al i told you , what would it be if we ever had the chance to get back and do you think she is somewhat selfesh. last will her new freind most likeley become her lover for long time, why do i feeel she is with her feind like we were . why do i sometimes feel jelouis. is this natural. lastly if she is with her freind,will she feel like she is with us.
i feel as if i have to write her again ,what is the best reply. for the both of us. ? sort of good by /with leiving thing open for later.
jenhelant, personaly i would like to say thanks for all your realistic advise and truthfullness.you have helped me look at things in a different way and to put myself in her shoes.
mabey im feeling sorry for my self ,or trying to find a way to let go. time may chang things but i do have alot of feelings for lisa, and they go deep.
wow you never know how much you miss someone till thare gone ,
please respond as soon as you can. thanks
well i quwee things are not going to work. we had a verbal conversation we got angry and told her how i felt about her dating outers,, and i thought she was shelfish, ect ect. so i not have to use to the fact i just blue my chances of ever getting her back,the arguement got out of hand . she to me she was diconnecting all ties,.
yes ,i ma trying to move on and learn for this.it will make me a better me. got the last of my belongs & she told me she iv very happy enen thing of thare future tigether , she says she might marry her freind, wow how fast some thing work, he and she wrote along spritual love letters and posted in her book ,she asked me to read it , it bouthered me but ill get over it,.i told her i would like some day to be a freind and wished her happyness, each day becomes clearer. but i think ill stay alone for a lil while ,before i get into anouther relationship. thanks .if i do not write back its cause im trying to work on a beer me for someone new in the future ,
how can ui get her out of my head , got any good ideas
well i tried ,last night went to dr he said i had an infection in my lungs from work & gave me antibodics, and from thare bring tested for t-b . and last he informded me h had a mini stroke.
tried speaking w lisa again and she states she is happy with james and spending alot of time , .wow this is heartbreaking to say ha.well i know its gonna take time, but i miss her , everything about her,beauity,touch,compassion, and what ever we had.thare is nouthing i can do. she is cutting off all ties with me and that also hurts very much,.she wrote me a note saying it wasent my falt & she tried to tell me. quess i just didnt want to except reality. but its strange how she could alter her life in 5 weeks. and now turning cold towards me, .wow after 6 years.? what is one to do. do you have any insite. ? if she ever came back in my life do you think we could make it.
for the longest time i thought it was my falt & what could i do to save our relationship. ? how do i let her know i still have the strongest feelig of love for her.
its not easy i know i have to let go., but my heart keeps telling try one more time
is it possable to have my relationship back with lisa / they say if you love someone let them got and if the come back ect ect . ? how long before you feel like your getting a sign.
well the no contact hasent worked for me cause i still try & keep it touch,she reminds me she is in love. and as of last week she posted on fb that she got married,wow alot of changes in 2 months ha. never knew lisa could change this way or i would ever hurt this much. well nouthing i can do about it now,except lurn to live again. . i miss the love we use to share.