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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Hi, how do I deal with a husband who cannot stop gawking and

Resolved Question:

Hi, how do I deal with a husband who cannot stop gawking and staring at young girls who could be his daughters, dressed skimpily and half naked. I am in my early fifties and he is in his late fifties. I have a very good figure and am attractive and youthful-looking, according to all however my husband just cannot seem to have enough of gawking at young scantily dressed girls - he stares at them with his mouth hanging open at times and this is very humiliating and embarrassing to me as it is very obvious that the girls notice it and actually smile at me in embarrassment.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.

jenhelant :

Hi, My name is XXXXX XXXXX I would like to help

jenhelant :

I am sorry what is happening.

jenhelant :

But first off please do not take what your husband is doing personal.

jenhelant :

It has nothing to do with what type of person you are or your looks. This is strictly his issue

jenhelant :

It sounds like he has am addiction that he may not be aware of

jenhelant :

I would try talking with him again and ask if he would mind if you pointed out to him in the moment

jenhelant :

This way he can see what he is doing as it happens

jenhelant :

The key in him getting help for this is first him admitting this and wanting to stop

jenhelant :

This is half of the battle right there because if he feels he has no problem than it would be impossible for him to change. He must be so embedded into this that he does not even realize what he is doing.

jenhelant :

I do not know if you have a camera or a video recorder to record or take a picture of him doing this in order to show the proof. I would rather do that a few times than this continue. However, you can start with pointing it out in the moment then try the picture if that does not work.

jenhelant :

There are ways he can get help from this by him playing an active role in the self help healing process and that is to break the bad habits. He would need to first admit this problem as I have wrote and want to change. It would be difficult for a certain period.

jenhelant :

When he finds himself

jenhelant :

Looking he would need to actively stop himself. This can take a while until the habit is broken

jenhelant :

However, in time in can be natural to him and will not take so much work on his part to not look

jenhelant :

Counseling is also an option to break these habits and addictions if that is a possibility

jenhelant :

The biggest challenge now is getting him to understand his problem in order to accept getting help

jenhelant :

Please let me know if I can be of further help and I wish you all the best.

Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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