Thank you for this information. I think you have given good practical advice, but I'm still worried about bringing this up and causing upset (even though it has upset me a lot). I think a lot of it stems from my concerns about him still being married. He has stated that they are not getting back together, the reasons for stalling divorce are financial and that he isn't on the rebound. However this is causing me a massive amount of stress as I've never been in a relationship with someone who has been divorced before. It does feel like there is a 'third person' there at all times (his wife), even though he does not reference her. I really like this guy, would see him as someone that I would settle down with and have a family with (I'm 39 and want to start a family before time runs out). I know you can't give anymore advice on this as I've only paid for one answer, but it really is doing my head in with worry.
I've now brought this up with my boyfriend - but kind of in the wrong way as I've asked him by text. He says that there is no agenda to not asking me, however his sister has a boyfriend she has been seeing for the same amount of time and she is taking him along to meet her parents at the anniversary dinner. I'm now going out with him for 3 months and he has never given me a gift or sent me flowers. He cooked me dinner on Valentine's evening and there was a woman's silver hairclip on his table. I remarked on this but he gave no explanation as to who it belonged to or what it was doing there. I just feel so disrespected by this guy and he does not understand that these things are so hurtful. We talk about going places e.g. a walk, visit a tourist site, go away for a weekend, but he never follows through with anything. He calls me 'sweetheart' and 'gorgeous' but it just is sounding so false. I really like him but the stress of all this is just making me feel so unhappy and unwell.