I do not believe you should give up on this relationship.
I also do not think in any way you should be worried about his ex. That relationship is over and it has been for awhile.
She attends family functions and it is because they have a child together and I feel the family wanted to make sure they stayed in contact and wanted to make sure they saw his child.
What is happening with why he went through your computer was he was insecure about losing you. He was so scared to lose you he assumed that you were going to leave him for someone else, which was in no way true.
He should have never did that because you do have your right to privacy and he should just trust you. He should be confident that you love him and he is the only one you want to be with.
I want to talk about him feeling like you are jealous of his ex. It is not about being jealous at all. This is someone that he is going to have in his life because they have a child together, he needs to understand that is hard.
You have children as well and you raised them pretty much on your own. I am sure that if things were reversed and your ex was at family functions and you seen him all the time, he might get upset as well.
He did go through all of your stuff online, so he is afraid of losing you.
You mentioned he put you down in public that is something he should not be doing. If he has a problem he should talk too you in private.
So she can get there on her own, his ex does not need to come.
I feel that he didn't want to tell you because it might upset you and you wouldn't feel comfortable with this.
But he should have told you.
I feel he just did not want to tell you.
This could be a bigger problem for him then you know. I am sure he is very concerned that you will get upset over his ex going to functions and him having to do certain things with his daughter.
He might be worried that you will not accept all this and leave.
He both have been together for a long time and I feel that the relationship with his ex is long been over. He is with you and he loves you. I feel he has no interest in his ex.
Does he tell you how to parent your children?
How would he react if you gave your opinion about his parenting?
Ok, so he does not let certain things interfere with you and him. He agrees with you but doesn't follow through, but he does value your opinion.
This is very true people do all have different opinion when it comes to parenting and a lot of that comes from how you were raised. If you are raised a certain way you tend to not know any different from how you were raised.
Your children live with you and you are a parent 24 hours a day everyday.
You both have total opposite situations.
This is why he needs to be more understanding of your situation
Him wanting and trying to parent your kids is him trying to be involved, but since you raised your children for so long that it is hard for someone else to parent your children. But he is trying to help in his own way, trying to be involved and accepted by your children
I feel that he gets nasty because he get frustrated and upset because he doesn't know how to truly express his feelings or tell you what is really bothering him,
He is someone that just reacts and doesn't think and say exactly how he really feels.
I feel he is trying to guide them in the right direction and he cares about them, but may come across as tough.
That makes sense you would know being a nurse manager, you see a lot of things.
It is hard when you know so much about something and you have no control over the situation.
What I see in him is someone that cares deeply for you, I feel that he loves you so much that there are things that tuly bother him that he does not know how to express.
So you are very supportive even though you know some things have been unnecessary.
So he is more comfortable expressing himself through an e-mail because it sounds like he has trouble telling you face to face. But you are right e-mails can be misunderstood because you can not read someones' emotions.