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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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How do you get past the past relationships of your soul ma

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How do you get past the past relationships of your soul mate?
Hello. You have to understand that the issue at hand lies within you and you are the only one who can change how you think about her past by learning how to think differently. The basis of this is self esteem and insecurity, which you need to work on improving. She has chosen you and if she wanted to be in any relationship with anyone else, she would be. Everyone learns lessons from their past relationships and she is no exception. She has been through a learning process with each individual, come to the conclusion that they are not for her and moved on to find you. You need to practice training your mind to move past the negative thoughts you are having and replace them with positive ones. Even if you don't believe some of it right now, if you do it enough times, you can retrain your thought pattern so that every time a bad thought tries to creep in, a new and positive one comes and replaces it.
There is not a single, simple solution to what you are seeking, as it can be very difficult to get out of a mental rut we place ourselves in. Like anything else, it takes practice and time.
Ask yourself if there is anything she can do to help you feel more secure. While your security is yours to deal with, sometimes a partner can help in subtle ways, but be careful not to rely on her as your only source of positivity, as it can push her away eventually.
She cannot change the past. This is a simple, but relevant thought. There is nothing she can do to change the people she has been with. You must start looking forward and to the future. She has chosen you.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I understand and I have been trying to do that. I guess time is the answer. The biggest problem is we cannot be in each others arms all the time, so the reinforcement is not 100% present.. She gives everything to me sexually like she has with many other guys who have treated her poorly since she was 15. I know she understands that I struggle with this and she has been very good. I don't want to push her away. I know it's shallow, but I want to have something from her that no other guy has had sexually. She has already given me her complete love, which is why I keep going. We can never give up our love it's just that I don't feel like anything special has been saved for me. I know it's the separation, because when we are in each others arms the world is right. Is it possible to keep this up for 7 years?

Anything is possible. I don't know your current situation, but being in physical contact as much as possible is much better for a relationship. Giving you total and complete love is the best thing you can have from a person. Enjoy it and try to think positive. If you have a set time when you can be together, then set your goals to look for that time to come.
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