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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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dear sir, he was visiting his family since 2yrs and whenever

Resolved Question:

dear sir,
he was visiting his family since 2yrs and whenever he sees his ex he has sexual relationship all the time and agreed to me today that he was doing it to make her happy .Does that make any sense ? he was denying it through outwhe i came to know from her friends and one more thing he said to his wife he has no other relationship yet when he is staying with me .oh my god !what shall i do .i love him sooo much i am stopping myself not to kill myself. iwas so much considerate to his child i even helped financially his pain was mine too. he took disadvantage of my consideration.i am devastated and i cant lose him .he still planning to come to me. please give me advise where i dont lose him ..i dont have clue what to do ...
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

Your man is cheating on you. It doesn't matter that she is is ex wife. That starts with EX which mean they are done.

He is having sexual relationships with her because it makes HIM happy and because he has no sense of decency or fidelity to you.

It may make HER happy as well, but it hurts you very much.

He has no right to cause you pain to make her happy, if you can believe that lame excuse.

He is a cheater and if he would do that with her he would with anyone else.

You have been so good to him and now he is putting you in a position where your life feels worthless because he has degraded you so much.

You say that you can't lose him, but you already have, in sense. You are ALREADY devastated.

You must tell him how you feel and how it makes you feel like ending it all. Do not be afraid to face up to him. He is psychologically abusing you and you must not put up with it.

You have limited options.

You can continue to accept it and feel awful. You will have some kind of relationship with him but it will keep tearing you to pieces.

You can confront him and DEMAND that he stop. Yes, I know that he is some kind bully, at least psychologically, but bullies must be faced up to.

I understand that you don't want to lose him, but you can't take this option off the table. Sometimes it is better to suffer alone than to suffer at the hands of someone.

And sometimes it is lonelier being in a relationship that is not working than being by yourself.

I wish you great courage and strength to act and to get him to do what is right.

Don't accept empty promises but hold his feet to the fire.

I shall keep you in my prayersl

Warm regards

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC


Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

what do you want me to tell him for ending this relationship. .


 

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I told him what happened to me was not right and I dont want to continue as your no one. But he still keep texting me
"no one is understanding my tragic situation of my child ,I dont know what to do I know I hurt you very badly, it is my mistake I am sorry, I lied because I knew you will be crying to death. Please dont be upset "
I am still not answering his calls. well he is with his child and ex at the moment. The child is critically ill and at her last days of life. I am quiet surprised how could someone who is supposed to sit with the child just find time to do sex. When I asked my friend (guardian angel) to know from his wife how was he last night and after texting me he slept with her. Ha ha I am a very strong person I beleived but I am still crying when I am typing this.
You have been soo helpful and you are my second guadian angel. I need to voice out I cannot talk this to anyone I am soo ashamed. Can I speak to you please.

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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.