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Dr. Tom
Dr. Tom, Tom Smith, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 23
Experience:  Dr. Smith has been offering counseling for over 37 years.
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I just have a general question about relationships, and maybe

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I just have a general question about relationships, and maybe need some guidance when it comes to being the best version of myself, with myself and potentially with someone else. Lately, I've had the sinking feeling of just having a hard time connecting with people, like developing a real deep connection either romantically, friendly or spiritually. I find that most people are not genuine and are just living the version of themselves that is either acceptable; whom they would like to be or whom they been told to be. However, I know this is isnt utopia but i'm really struggling with this aspect of life because I say what I mean and mean what I say and often get really frustrated with the "fluff" of life, I would much rather prefer a real, raw honest way to interact and connect with people. Additionally, I feel like my genuine connecting nature makes it easy for others to perceive me as weak or easy to walk over which makes relationships so irritating for me. In addition, I value all my past relationships and want to truly stay friends because my value in life surrounds itself with connection but I often feel like individuals are only trying to get something from me and cant be genuine in nature or even be direct in truly their real intentions. How do I cope with this feeling? How do I handle wanting to truly be friends with people who only want something from me?
You have two questions: One of the best ways to deal with any kind of feelings is to breathe and identify them and let them go through you and then see if you can get the lesson or message from the way it is ... some insight into yourself and how you are framing reality. Why do you want to be friends with people who only want something from you? We draw certain people into our ken by who we are. What are you projecting? I hope that by answering these questions you can get some insight into yourself because only you can answer these questions.
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I am glad that this input has proved of some value to you. Keep learning about yourself. You have a good head on your shoulders. Keep an open mind and be gentle with yourself. If I can answer any more of your questions do not hesitate to ask. Just put my name in the appellation. Best. Dr. Tom