Hello I will try to help you as best I can. I feel your pain and remorse regarding your actions from the drinking. Of course he will be responding as he is because he was hurt and he now questions your trust. I am glad that you have talked about it and that is has forgiven you but now you need to regain his trust and confidence in you once again. I agree that the drinking is bad for your relationship and that you agree as well. Alcohol effects people in many different ways and can change one's personality drastically which it sounds like has happened to you. Do you feel that you may have a drinking problem? If so, I would suggest some professional help ie an addiction counselor or possibly attend an AA meeting just to see how other people have been affected by alcohol Let me know your thoughts. Thank you
times has gone by and the other day his grudge he has been holding back at me which trigger back because of my drinking i could understand where he comes from. he said that when i drink i like to get attention approval of everybody. one inccident i went out from the library room where we were studying to look up a book on reserved. came back with a piece of paper which he didnt notice. next time i went out he asked where was i going i said go get lost. but i was going to the bathroom. seemed he noticed the paper i had brought in before and asked why i had to get this paper. i explained to him to wiitte the number for the reserved book but since nothing was written on it he got uset. turns out he felt that i had just gone out to get attention. it took awhile to bring it out of him. he confess he had hold a grudge from our previous drinking moment where i had embarrased him i alone myself. it was more tha just that. he said he should of just broken up with me, he was soo close oon doing it. i explain my side to the story with sorry and honesty about the reality that he was th eonly man i wanted to get attention from. i was complte honest with everything that i said and cried. he just listened. and couldnt bare to see me cry. i said what would you like to do. i can only show youwith actions that that person is not me and my past should not define me as who am now and my future. i was willing to try. seems we agree. he invited me into his house and had dinner together. he seemd relaxed and a little more happy. he is still keeping distance but in my life still. what do you think?
been a cuouple more days and ever since that big talk things has been good. ive tried to be consistant and reasurring about my feelings towards him. v day was good he got me flowers and went for dinner. good times. sat came by and he had slept all day. ( he works night shifts) and sat night was his day off. i called him over to watch the walking dead he said after his soccer game he would come over. i had dinner surprise ready for him when he arrived during dinner i mentioned if he could come to my nephews b day party i would like for him to meet my uncle who came from guatemala. he said coming to my home he feels uncomfortable he is turning 22 and im 28 he feels like everyone is old and makes him uncomfortable. i undertood but he said he would make it around 1 0r 2 knowing the importance it was for me. during the night he said they got a conviction notice of 60 days to leave his home. in one occasion i brought up him coming tomorrow and he said ( ahhh dont bring more stress). i left it alone and didnt say anything. he started talking how he didnt feel confident playing soccer it was all bad. i just listened and hugged and rubbed his head. hour later he says he might go to his friends house and have a coupe beers. my face was like i dont like that im sure he noticed but we left it alone. he said goodbye and ill see you tomorrow. tomorrow comes around 2 i tx him he never replies. i went along with the birthday party and left around 6. i cried on my way home and spoke to a friend, i needed someone to talked to. after i took a shower and more rela icalled him, he picks up sounds like i jsut woke him up. i asked what happened. he replies saying i fell asleep. he asks if i was mad. i said i didt like it but will talk when we see eachother. he agreed and we said our goodbyes. i wasnt mad i was calm taliking to him, i didnt throw i fit . i was pround bc i acted like a women. and not a child. is monday n i have not yet talked to him. i feel like i should wait untill his ready to talk. ive been trying and all this hurts me and i would really like to hear ur advice. im trying my best to show him i am who i say i am. i dont waant us to hurt anymore and i know we arent perfect but where do we go from here, is he jsut slowly but surely giving up or am i rushing things to be where they were. oh and during our dinner i had also asked how was he doing since our last conversATION. he said good but we shouldnt talk about it more. ileft it alone aswell.
after all of our issues this past few months have been good. great communication and i havent been needy at all and his been attentive as well. Just the other day the converstation happened about having kids. I mnetioned i would like to have kids and he says he does and he doesnt. he is 22 he wants to make more money, travel and get a new car, he wants to leave his young hood and not have the responsablity by having acar. i told him i understood that i to ned to be stable which im not in order to have that responsability im not ready too have them now eaghter. he says when his ready to cross that bridge will worry but right now no. when we fist stared even a coupke months behind he will say when we have our kids. or if we worked will get a house, and in tow years we were to be engage. why no tknow why the change. he goes back into 7 to 10 years and if i want to wait then we could and i said if we are still together yes we can but know i am too not ready. what could this mean. his not wanting to be with me in th elong run at all or what? i love him and even thoufh this has been brough up he still attentive and caring. why then he was so sure that now may not be.
i hope you are able to read our last conversations about me and my bf who i dissapointed by getting drunk. 2 months its been a wroking progress. ive tried proving to him and showing him im not lying and everything im sayong or doing is to make us work. since the begginign of our relationship when we gotten into arguments ive always been the one to call back and talked things through. he never does the initiative to say im sorry even though he could be rude. but i let him know why im mad let it be and then when we meet i feel he is sorryby showing me attention and affectionate. but somethings happens the cycle continues. i feel taken for granted by him i cant always be the one to fix things. what about what i need from him. last week we did see eachohter at all he woulds initiate a date but his time he didint. there would be texes i would send and he wouldnt respond to unlike him. then he would call the next day like nothing an honestly i dont like confrontaion that i let it slide by. i had a toothache for awhile now thursday i had tx him i was taking out friday he replied hrs later saying good, so i called him while im in my way to work. he answer bnot in a good mood but we conversated for a little bit and he said if he didint go to work he would take me. the next day came along i didnt hear from him till 4 saying to call him aftyer the surgery. i tx bc i could not speak. he said to come over and hangout i said no if he could come and see me since i was in pain and couldnt drive. his respond was no i dont feel comfortable going to oyur house. i sadi i wont gdet into that but ok. he asked how was i doing and if i had meds. after a awhile i called him and said to come he doesnt even have to come i jsut wanted to see him unwilling to come he still did. he was tired moody and with an attitude. i could understand he gets like that when his reallly tire and i could tell but i always think about him this time i was just wanting his comfort. the time there was silence. he was anxious not wanting to be there. i said oookay and he was like whats with the sarcasm i replied whats with the attitude. he said he was fine with his attitude so i gave him the same responce. he then says his leaving he doesnt wsant to argue. i said we havent seen eachother all week he cuts me off and says stop trying to play victim. once he said that hurt me and i got mad and said whyare you calling me victim. the more frudtrtated he got and said he was lwaving after a hort time not getting anything from him i walked out and mubbled as i did. he left. i felt so hurt. i was drug up on vicadin nc i was in pain, his been ignoring my texes and then i get this attitude from him. so unfair. he had said he didnt get any texes he didnt even turned of his phone could be true but none out of three hard to imagine. we once had a tx message like this and he was angrily saying you didint answer my tx i said i did after sometime he said i just got it sorry. so even if he didnt got them right away he should of later. i, always trying even after i kow i mest up on our one year ive been trying and he has too we been through worse but this time i needed him and all got was selfishness all about him first. f min after this i called him he didint answer and now its been six days we havent conversated. i miss him but im alawys initiating first and ive been fine doing it but this time i feel its unfair he should take resposability for the how he acted and how he was talking to me. i know he was tire but its that an enough excuse to be silent for days. ive been strong not to call but how long is enough !!
there has been times when i know he feels insecure. ive tried to be me by going to the gym i tell him who im with then he asks do they try getting at me they better not. a phone number on my phone i showed him it was the gym bc i was on a week trial i called infron of him to show him is no one else. we had sex and hsaid i was loose. if i had put sometingon there. in my head iwas mad but i took as ajoke bc i was not doing anything, i went to the bathroom and as i come back the doodr is lock. when he finally asnwers i said i have afeeling your thinking im doing somebody else. im not dont think negative you could see my phone, email, facebook im not lying. he said no but caled down nc i had reassured him and i know he felt my hnesty. but when i think about the door been lock i know he was looking at phone. all this things ive let them be bc i know ive mest up and i love him. ive done nothing my countious is clear as to why its the many reasons i dont want make the initiave this time. ive taken all this. he has noit found anything to say im gulity. 6 days not talking after me being there when he needs me even tohelp him with his hwrk. i got tooth pull and he cant be there. what should i do. my heart is telling me call and work things out but my mind is telling me no bc ive done evertyhing i could i want to feel interested by him i want to feel reassurance his willing to fight for just as much as do. thoughts, please!
if you could answer ive tried pasting the question to ask how you would like but I cant, I would def add a bonus to your help. im sorry if I made it seem I just wanted it for free im going through a lot and you have been great help for me. please read my issue and I will add a bonuss to your great service. thanks