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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7661
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Am I crazy to continue this relationship? I took a year and

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Am I crazy to continue this relationship? I took a year and half off of dating cause i was unhappy with my life. Time off and exercising I started feeling like me again. I joined a dating site was not really into it. This man (we will call him G) started talking to me and we clicked. We talked daily phone and online for 2 weeks in September and then met in October. We casually dated for a few weeks, then got into having sex (usually wait to be exclusive) did something normally I would not do that fast. We hang out 2 to 3 times a week, i've met his friends, and more. He just retired from the Marines and moved back from Cali to IL a few months ago, started a new job and going to school part time. When him and I met it was awesome he was happy. He did tell me he had ptsd but only came out when he was sleeping. In November he had me meet two of his closest friends. One friend kept calling me the chick he was banging and other rude things. G told him to stop and said he was sorry. It really bugged me, I wasnt his gf yet, and I just wasn't sure how he felt about me. So i kind of asked him if i met anything he said yeah do not worry about it. A week later after hanging with him and his two friends. He took me outside to tell me not to make a scene, he been lying to me from the start. He been a coward and afraid to loose me. He is married been seperated for two years and cant afford a divorce. Three weeks into the marriage she cheated on him while he was in the marines. I for some strange reason wasnt mad. I thought he was going to tell me he was leaving back for cali since he hates it here. I was like mad that heu liedd butunderstood why. Then his female roommate who got preginate from her two month bf so is abandoning his lease. He been stressed with that, finals from his last semester to keep his grades up, school ruined his next semester times so changed schools, he hates his new job, miss cali, drinking more, getting sick a lot, bad luck keeps coming to him. He keeps saying he not himself, angry for no reason, stressed out all the time. I think its his pstd acting up do to all his bad luck. He Did finally ask me to be his gf after a fight with him. He says he doesnt want to loose me and wants me in his life. He keeps saying he doesnt feel like himself. He finally let me join and add him to facebook but wont tell anyone im dating him. All over his wall from months ago to years ago all lovely dovey stuff from him and his ex. He writes me nothing. Its even took a month before we had sex again he been stressed, or we been fighiting, or no protection. I keep getting more news of more baggage from him. I really like him a lot. But I have no idea is he really cares or if im a rebound. Or if this worth stinking around. He been so depressed it kills me to see him so depressed. I cant change him or make him happy thats up to him only. But what do i do. its starting to affect me. I feel lonely in this relationship at times, He just took me on a vacation for a day to the dells we had a great time. We were hoping it would give him a day or two without stress. Oo he doesnt text or call me like he use to. I kind of feel like im doing all the work. So im backing off but the problem is my heart is so confused. I kind feel like i know i will get hurt. what should i do
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

I read and re-read your question to make sure I got all of the details straight.

Your friend has been damaged by his military experiences or by some experiences and he will be a difficult person to ever have a relationship with.

He cannot live with himself and you will never have a happy life with him. You might force this relationship to continue for awhile, but it will bring you a lot of pain, and very little satisfaction.

This is a good time to let it go and move on.

He may try to string you along (perhaps with some others) but will do the sanest and smartest thing to close this chapter in your life and start a new one.

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7661
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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