Hi! You know, to give you the best answer, I think I should ask you a few questions first that will help define the problem and the situation.
Your question is very evocative that there is so much behind the simple few words you write. This is such a painful situation, I'm sure. Are you still living together or has she made you move out and you're helpful when you're there?
You're clearly committed to the marriage. Is she committed to making the marriage still work?
Would she be willing to go to couples counseling with you for a little while to help get the trust operational again?
Any extra information that will help, feel free to share.
I may be logged off for the night before you reply, but go ahead and reply to these questions and I’ll answer as soon as I log on tomorrow. Okay?
Sorry i typed up the details once already and they vanished. but I cheated on her a few weeks after our child was born and didnt tell her for a week. I was talking to someone else, but it wasnt serious and when i did tell my wife what i have done she left the for the weekend and i went out to a strip club and got a number and had a dating website profile just looking for someone to talk to. and besides the cheating thing she found out everything else on her own I wasnt very straight forward with it all
and yes we are still living together things started to look like they were going to start working out and then took turn for the worst and now its hard to tell if this will work out or not
and i tried to get her to go to marriage counseling but she refuses to go.
right now she only seems committed to make the marriage work so the kids have a whole family if it wasnt for the kids or the fact she doesnt have a job she would of already left me